A bit of a catch up and an actual BLOG..

Little did I know when I said "30 days of nothing" that I would literally mean nothing...lol. Basically, my non-posting has resulted from Holiday frenzy, lack of computer, or just so much to blog about that I just don't know where to start, or, nothing to blog about at all. So just a little catching up before I rush outta here to my small, cozy home.

ME: What's going on with me is this: I'm back to work after having a wonderful and so busy Christmas. I really enjoy my job, but I so can't get 'into it' after being off for awhile. I think it's also my being back at school on a Thursday instead of a Monday. I think it is also due to the fact (I hope it's a fact) that this is my last yr teaching, Lord willing. It's not that I don't want to do my best while I'm here, but it's that I so want to be devoting my time to MY little ones and have no energy for other's little ones (my students). They are so patient and kind, I really don't deserve such great students. Anyway, back to pumping, getting up early, and rushing about for supper plans, skimping on the house cleaning, crashing at night, etc. Yup.

I have a sinus infection like none other. I don't remember having so much pain associated with a sinus infection before. Before, it's just been the green, the goot, and the blowing of the nostrils (how's that for graphic?). This time, I have PAIN. Today is Day 5 of jaw-bone-up-to-my-eye pain. So badly that I, who does not take pain meds for frivolous reasons, have succombed to the wonderful relief that 2 Ibuprofens can bring. So far, I have been taking Echinacea (not regularly), Vit C, Juice Plus, and I got some new vits called SuperMoms from www.beeyoutiful.com yesterday. I have been applying hot compresses to my eyes. Knowing the wonderful properties of garlic, yesterday I went out into the cold elements to dig up some fresh garlic planted by Husband's dear forefathers and ate a whole garlic! I figured I had sinus breath anyway! LOL Immediately, my sinuses were as clear as ever! However, the pain is still there this morning! Oh, well, I'll chew another garlic stalk today. What is there to lose besides breath less than pleasant anyway?

Husband: Well, I have nothing but great things to always say about him. He so came through for me this Christmas, staying up until 5am Christmas morning to download and personally narrate a 2 hour 'broadcast' playing 40 songs that he has sung to me through our years together. All of this was done on a new MP3 playing that he purchased for me. I feel almost as high tech as my 4th graders. Almost.

Emory: Emory is Emory. He is really a mama's boy at times. We got close over the holidays. He still loves to eat, play the computer, and watch his daddy play the playstation. He is really a chip off of his dad's shoulder. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Erin: Now, this gal is a pistil. Last night, she got in trouble for breaking all of the stems on my flowers that I had brought in to save from the 18 degree temps we (gasp) had. I had already warned her. When I asked her why she did it anyway, she announced, "But my elephants had to have something to eat". I was almost crying from my flowers being ruined, but this *almost* brought a smile to my face. I'm sure years from now, I will cherish this memory. She is a joy. I absolutely love the 'terrible' twos. They are wonderful for a well-trained child. She has her moments, but I have the peace of knowing we are being consistent with her discipline and that she will turn out to be a well trained young lady.

Evan: Oh, my sweet baby boy. This little guy has my heart. I mean, even at 3 and 4 am, while I'm rocking him in my cold rocking chair, feeling the draft coming through the window, I love looking into his big, er, huge eyes. I love being responsible for his nourishment. He is amazing. He is squealing and screaming (not fits....yet...ha), is coming up on his arms, rolling over, and teething...still. He is absolutely precious. I would have 10 of him if I could. I'm just in love, sorry! :)

On my mind: Lots of things I could 'blog' about, but something that has been on my mind lately and I'm going to try to work on is, whining. You know, I didn't read the Pearl books until Emory was around 1.5 years old, so I didn't really implement consistent training on him right away. In fact, the other day, I was watching a home video and it was showing Em in the bathtub playing. I gave him some command (I can't remember what it was) and he so totally ignored it. I told him about 3 more times and he didn't pay any attention to it! I couldn't believe I let it go. Now, no way. One command yields one response. Anyway, I have noticed how whiney he is. Especially at his gran gran's (it's true, Amy). It irritates me to no end. As I have been pondering how I can prevent my other children from whining (Erin whines too, a bit), I remember reading something in the Pearl's book about responding to infants and babys before they get to the crying state. Normally, a parent puts a happy baby down to 'play' and what happens? He or she will leave the baby there to play in order to get something done. My exact thoughts have been, 'oh good, he/she is playing happily, I'll go make the bed, start the laundry, sweep the floor, etc'. And, before long, I will hear a little cry at first and I will think, "well let me just get this bed made and I'll go get him, it's not hurting anything for him to cry a little". Well, after the bed has been made, baby's irritation levels have really escalated because mama hasn't met said need of 'I want to be picked up'. So, mama (me, ha) goes over to baby, who is now fussing heavily, picks him up and yeah, things are great. Except for the fact that I've just taught my baby that A. Cry and I'll pick you up and B. I only pick you up when you fuss.

So, what is learned here? Baby learns that the way to get happiness is to Whine (cry, fuss, whatever you want to call it). Got my point?

So the solution (and what I'm trying to implement) is to A. I could go broke, buy me an Ergo carrier (which I want desperately) and carry Evan all day long or B. I could put him down, see how long it normally takes him to whine (I think he will usually play good for about 10 mins before he wants mama), and then allow him to play for half of that time and pick him up while he's happy. I might not get as much done, but if I can prevent him from being TRAINED to whine, then I will not complain (er, whine...lol).

In other words, I meet his needs before they become wants. I pick him up happy. I change him before he becomes fussy. I nurse him to sleep before he cries to be nursed to sleep (I already know he loves being nursed to sleep and will 'fuss' to nurse to sleep). I feed him before he cries out of hunger. I entertain him before he becomes bored into fussiness.

All of this sounds as if I am spoiling him, but in fact, I'm UNspoiling him.

Let me know what you think.

Sorry to be so long...I hope you faithful ones haven't left me! :)

Oops!

I skipped blogging last night because I was so.incredibly.sleepy! Just two things worthy of posting:

~Erin got her 2nd goose egg on the back of her head in 2 weeks time. Poor baby. I mean you could see it with her hair combed over it! My mom said I used to get the most knots on my head of any child she knew!

~My dear husband brought me home a bag of baked goodies from the Amish bakery. YUM! I could so not eat just one. It was awesome!

~Day 2 of following my Menu Plan: Hamburgers and french fries. I should've just followed my original way of cooking hamburgers. :(

Sheer Randomness

Well, I almost let the pictures I posted stand in for a blog, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. A commitment is a commitment.

I started on my Monthly Meals from Family Fun. I fixed Hawaiian chicken & rice and Armadillo Potatoes (supposed to look like Armadillos to get kids to eat them, yk?). It was really yummy. It was so much different than what I normally fix (yk, meat, vegetable, starch), so it was nice to have a change. The downside of it is that I had to shop at our local grocery which was downright depressing. The prices are horrible and they have nothing organic. I love me some Wal-Mart now.

The reason I had to shop at the local grocery is as follows: Last night, Dh and I needed to go to the closest real town, which is about 60 miles away. We had to pay a credit card bill and to get a few groceries. MIL had agreed to keep the kids, sans one (Mr. Boob Attacher), so it was all good. We had a really nice ride out. Evan was asleep, the van was warm, we were listening to old country music and holding hands. Light conversation, yk? Well, I get to Sears and realize I had forgotten to get the money from the kitchen shelf! I had absolutely.no.money. I just about cried. The amazing part of the story is this: my husband laughed! He laughed! He is really exceptional. He said, "Well, at least we had a really nice ride together." I thought that was so sweet. I told him most husbands would've fussed and fussed and talked about how irresponsible that was of me to leave the money. He said it would be like him to have done something like that (leave the $$). Anyway, he had enough money with him to get ME a Mocha Frappe and us a sandwich. We preceded to have another nice ride home while the baby slept. I ended up falling asleep on Dh's arm, bless him. What a nice man I have!

Evan is 4 months old today and HE HAS A TOOTH!! It has barely broken thru the skin (on Sunday), but it is definitely there! His gums itch like crazy. It makes me think he will get about 4 or 5 teeth at one time! He is my heart right now. About 99% of the time, I could eat him to pieces!

Emory is enjoying his '5 yr old status'. Everything he does, he wants us to say something in relation to 'that's a big 5 year old doing a good job'. How funny.

Well, my nose is cold, I've got to read a chapter in my "LionBoy" book, and then it's off to bed for me.

The Tree

About 90% kid-friendly ornaments this year! Woo-hoo!

Birthday boy

Two Things...

Okay, sometimes I don't have the blogging take-over spirit..lol. It's hard for me to come up with something, but here goes.

*I'm in a reading contest with two of my best readers in my class. They already have about 80-100 points for the year and I just started! My points are around 11. Ha! So far, I have read : "Blubber" by Judy Blume, The Hardy Boys, "The Secret of the Old Mill" by Franklin Dixon, and I'm currently reading, http://www.amazon.com/Lionboy-Truth-Trilogy-Hardcover/dp/B000HT2P8E/ref=pd_bbs_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1196722111&sr=1-3 "The Lion Boy". It is worth 8 points. I'm really into this contest. I love to read but have basically stopped since my children have been born (besides the occasional novel..once per yr). I have found over the past 2 weeks that I can squeeze in reading!

*If you don't subscribe to FamilyFun Magazine, you should. I get the biweekly Email with craft ideas and menus. They have a month's worth of meals complete with doable recipes. I'm gonna try it for a week. Let you know. It just might be the answer to my 'what to cook' dilemma that I face nightly.

Well, Evan is fussing in my arms and Emory is waiting for the computer, so that's it. Hey, I came up with something to post didn't I?

Birthday Emory

My firstborn turned 5 today! We let him sleep in this morning..it was apparent he needed too. The weather was sooo extremely warm and humid today! Not at all what it was when I birthed him. I am so glad I didn't leave heaters on at the house. In fact, I have 2 air conditioners currently running. Snowstorms in the NW and 80 degree temps here! Gotta love the South.

Got my aunt to make a schoolbus cake and it is so cute (pix to follow). I had a recipe for one and was feeling all Martha, but I knew my time and energies would be stretched. We were going to have a small party after church, but some had made other plans, so it was family only (Nana and Grandpa to come later to see him blow out the candles). We had a nice junk food fest--hotdogs & chips (which is rare, but special occasion, ya know) and cupcakes. I'm sure I'll post pix in a few minutes.

It is sooo good to be home!! Even if there was a roach in my sink (Amy) and the dishes had gotten smelly (spontaneous trip), it was still good to be home. I love home! Vacation is good for something other than making memories...it's for appreciating home! Now I must go face the mountain of dirty clothes!

Emory has just announced that he is bathing himself (wow, growing up right on time) and I smell the soap all the way in the living room, so I'd better check on him!

Wow, he put his bath toys in the basket, dried off himself, AND clothed himself! Oh no! Too much independence means I'll be ready for another baby soon. JUST KIDDING! I'm proud, though!! :)

31 Days of Nothing...

I read this blog called Big and Little, it's at WordPress (another blogging site--I'll try to get the link) and the blogger had a challenge called 30 Days of Nothing where she resolved to post something every day (all 30) in November. I thought I'd try it. It might indeed be 31 days of nothing!

However, what goes on at our house is definitely anything but nothing. We are currently on 'holiday' at the beach without going to the beach! :) We decided to take off and head south to do some Christmas shopping and making some memories. So far we have:

-got very little sleep (aren't you supposed to sleep on vacation?)

-been a human pacifier all.night.long (no crib or bassinet)

-had extreme allergies

-had a no-napper (Emory)

-spent money

But, we have:

-watch a nice movie together (Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium...awesome movie!)

-had some warm beach weather (did someone say December?)

-not had a house to clean

-read a few chapters in a book (what's that again? did I hear you correctly?)

-lastly, enjoyed wireless fast internet

My little firstborn (ahem, little?) is turning 5 tomorrow. It seems impossible. What a big boy he is.

I have an exceptional husband. Who else would take 3 kids Christmas shopping for 3 hours which includes stopping by the restroom at least 3 times, stopping by the carousel rides at least 3 times, and listening to numerous complaints! What a gem!

Lemon Squares and Hickory Nuts

GALORE!

A Day in our Country home (lame title, I know)

If I didn't have dial-up, I would title this blog, "A Day in Pictures" and post pictures of what we did today. First off, Daddy got Emory up at 6am to go squirrel hunting, which turns out, Emory is a 'chip off the old shoulder' because he crawled into bed with me soon after. Alas, Dad went solo. The picture (if I do download it) is not of Emory's first squirrel, but of dad's squirrel while Emory-lay-in-the-bed. My day started out before six, but such is common for me. Ah, what is sleep? It is but a vapor that appeareth for a little while and then vanishes with the cries of the nursling babe. I'm enjoying my little sleep robber, such as he is.

We have been piddling about the house: getting the fireplace ready for the huge, harsh winters that we have (ha), making up beds, fixing lunch (pizza and chips...oh, but they were both natural and organic *inserts your rolled eyes here* lol), afterwards made lemon squares (see picture, that might download by tomorrow). Then I raked up a few piles whilst sorting the pecans I raked up. Meanwhile, the husbando was picking up hickory nuts (see picture). If anyone knows of anything to be done with these wonderful nuts, please leave me a comment! The kids have been playing (Erin tending to her 'bejtable garden') and Evan is getting his longest nap of the week.

I've got a few things accomplished this week, none to speak of, but the week isn't over. I do want to do some sort of craft with my kiddos. Leaf rubbings or something. I did see a great idea in my kidscraftweekly newletter (www.kidscraftweekly.com) about doing an advent calendar with matchboxes. This would be something you could do together, every day, during the month of December. I'm going to do this--it sounds awesome.

Of course, tomorrow is Thanksgiving (Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll) and I will celebrate with my wonderful Grandmother and Papa and all the Sullivan family. Twill be a glorious time. I don't think I will bake nary thing! My granny has it pretty much covered (and the aunts) so I'm going to take adv of no cooking! I'm sure in a few years, Thanksgiving dinner will fall my lot and I will receive my own family in my home. I really can't wait until that time. I also can't wait to morph into Paula Deen...lol. Really, I'm not rushing my life, but it is fun to think about your grown kids coming home and being with you. Gives me the warm fuzzies!

Well, off to post pictures. I might be back for another blog. Feeling bloggish today!

A Good Day

Today marked the first day of Thanksgiving Holidays. It was truly a day in which to be thankful. I got up and had a bowl of cereal with my husband before he left for work. It was nice to have that together time without the kid's interrupting. Of course, he had barely made it out the door before the kids were up and ready to start their day.

I set out to declutter my room a bit. It will have to be a work in progress because I can only work in there when Evan is awake. I made a slight dent in the pile of clothes. My maternity clothes are still in the containers sitting there on the floor. I need to move them out of the room before they are some kind of omen or something!

Ran some errands in town. Got my Mothering magazine in the mail so I got to browse thru that while the milk man took over. It is always refreshing to read about other natural mamas. There was an article in there about Breastfeeding 911--talking about Breastfeeding during emergencies. It gave 3 stories of how infants would've died in emergency situations (situations where there was no water to mix formula) if the mother had not breastfed. Something to think about! I absolutely love nursing Evan. In the first few weeks, it seems merely a service to the infant. Now, it is a pleasure. He will unlatch to smile up at me or coo at me (his way of saying, 'thanks, mom') and it melts my heart. Anyway, the kids played outside for awhile. I listened to their childish play and their pretend talk. It is awesome being a mom! Erin says, "Em" and it takes about 4 syllables for her to get it out. She's so country!

The kids took a long nap today (3 hours) and I got to straighten up and wash clothes (never ending cycle!). I cooked a good meal: fried chicken strips, string beans, and garlic/cheddar/mashed potatoes. It was yummy.

The husband has taken the kids to the gym to 'walk'. I'm getting some down time while Evan, I believe, is down for the night. I miss him already!! I like to have the nightly cuddles with him before bed. I was busy cooking tonight. :(

Well, this is about as random as you get! I'm just glad to be blogging with no interruptions! haha

Can you tell I'm enjoying my week?

Womanhood Revisited

I wish I had a computer in my brain that could copy down things I want to blog. By the time I get a chance to actually blog, I can't remember what it was going to be about!

Yesterday, I had a migraine. Don't have but about two a year and it's usually when something crazy is going on w/ my hormones. Sure enough, Aunt Flo knocked last night, and sadly, I had to answer! Womanhood has returned! Just a few weeks ago, I finished the post-partum deal. It doesn't seem like I've had a break, but it has been one year since I had a period. This time last year, had a tiny little life growing in me. Look at him now! Mr. Evan--18 pounds, cooing and teething! He is sooo sweet, there aren't any words to describe a new baby. I'm sorry, but I think people are crazy for not wanting any children!!

Speaking of Evan, he had had some bouts of screaming during the early mornings about 3 mornings in a row. I'm not sure what it was, but I know it wasn't teething. I mean, about 45 minutes to an hour of screaming. I was helpless, but prayed. Actually, husband did all the praying because I was trying to console! I figured it out it might be the milk my mom was giving him for the extra feeding that I don't have enough breastmilk for. She has been using goat milk (straight from the, er, goat), but the goats haven't been producing, so she's been giving him goat milk from the carton. Pasteurized, Homogenized. So, I'm thinking, the enzymes have been killed via pasteurization which in turn, causes baby to not digest milk as well. Yesterday, we just did formula for the extra feeding and had a great night! Bye, bye goat milk from the carton. Hello, sleep. Sort of. He is still getting up during the night and so is Erin! I was up at 4:30, got the smiling young-one back to sleep at 6 or so and I just decided to stay up. Yawn.

After tomorrow, I have 10 days with my family! I can't wait!! I want to savor every. single. minute. Make lots of memories with my babies. I just love this time of year!

God is good. I don't thank Him enough. Do any of us? How can we ever repay what He's done for us?

All About Erin

Erin Abigail Cooper

Favorite Animal: Elephant (wants to name all elephants, "Babar") & Pigs (wants to name all pigs, "Wilbur")

Favorite Book: This is a hard one, but I believe she likes "Three Little Pigs" and "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" the best.

Favorite Cuteness: It is so cute when she says, "I love you, Mama" or when she rhymes words, like, "Tickle" and she will say, "Dickle, Wickle, Pickle"

Dislikes: Her biggest dislike would have to be getting her hair combed. She has unkempt hair that has a tendency to tangle very easily! She also dislikes loud noises. She hates to be interrupted during a project or task. "I gotta finish my puzzle fuhst"

Favorite Food: She loves garlic toast, candy, spaghetti, pizza (toppings), all meat, cereal, pears, oranges, and butterbeans. Not much after that.

Hobbies: She currently loves putting puzzles together. She will still sit and "read" for minutes on end. She enjoys 'cooking' outside and also helping mama.

Interests: Books and Animals. LOVES Animals.

Loves: animals, mama, scratching my neck, sucking her bottom lip, playing outside, Gabby (her dog), Herky (our cat), Gran-gran, Papa, movies, candy, having a story read to her, baths, Christmas (she can't wait)

Music: "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" is her current favorite.

Abilities: She is fully potty trained now (as of 10/07), can carry on complete conversations, can put a 3 -4 year old puzzle together, can dress/undress herself, can sing,

Current Inquisition: "What does this (insert word) start with?"

She is my baby girl and the daughter of my dreams!

Weekend Uninterrupted!

This weekend was perfect to me. It has been a looong time since I've had a perfect one--probably since before Evan was born. A perfect weekend to me means my house is straightened all throughout, the clothes are washed and put away (or are being done so), my kids are well behaved, my husband is home, the weather is beautiful, I have food to cook, and we are having a great time as a family. All the above occurred. For some reason, I got my house straightened without being interrupted, I washed clothes and got to put them away as they dried, Evan is entertaining himself some now, so he played contently while I worked. Of course, I played with him after feedings. Erin and Emory played outside most of the day and were good (besides the time Emory chased Erin with a BB gun and Erin came inside yelling, "Mama, Emory's trying to kill me"). I cooked a fabulous supper; roast and gravy, macaroni and cheese (which, btw, my husband, who is a world famous mac and cheese scrutinizer, said it was the best he had ever eaten), green beans, rice, and biscuits. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! My husband worked and finished his wood shed. Evan and I put some wood in it for him while he watched the Alabama-LSU game. Evan in his carrier attached to me, of course. The kids went to bed fairly early and the day was done. We never once left the house and it was fantastic.

How was your weekend?

Impromptu Shopping

This weekend at our singing, a very kind elderly gentleman came up, hugged me, and slipped me a $100 bill. I thought my singing sucked, but obviously it was worth $100 to him. That or he felt sorry for me..LOL. He told me to spend it on myself, so I did, guiltlessly. Almost. I kept thinking about how Evan needs a new carseat and how that would go good on a Pack N Play, but then I remembered my closet and the guilt almost vanished.

Impromptu Shopping is defined as shopping with one baby strapped to your chest via carrier and another toddler in the buggy. It is grabbing things off of the rack at ONE store, briefly looking at the price and the size, and throwing it in the buggy. It also involves trying items on when one gets home and finding out that nothing fits right. At all. I was looking for casual skirts and shirts since my last guilty purchase was a dressy outfit, but I couldn't find anything but black. I have tons of black skirts...at least 4.. that's tons for a skirt. I found two dresses that I can breastfeed in, relatively cute, if you like the new crisscross top, knit dress era, show-every-inch-of-flab type dress. I even got the cutest pumps to go with the dresses. Even a headband. The dresses are 3 sizes bigger than what I wore when I got married. The verdict. Still too snug.

The shoes wouldn't even go on my feet.

Incentive for a new diet: go shopping!

Feel a little blog coming on...

Mostly this will be about random things...

*Went to Walmart last night and spent the most I have ever spent at Wally World: $215.00! *Gulp*. But, I got me a new baby carrier and it's by Jeep! I want and crave an Ergo Baby Carrier, but one from WalMart will do for now. I put Evan in it and he was perfect while we shopped! I also buy about 98% all organic foods which are pricier, but I don't care, it's the best for my family! I even bought some organic caramel apple dip last night! Yum! I love how they are getting more and more organics at Walmart. This morning I took a bath and bathed with my Burt's Bees Organic Peppermint Soap, used my Burt's Bees Organic Peppermint and Honey Lotion, ate my Roasted Pumpkin and raisin organic cereal with Organic Milk, and I'm feeling pretty healthy!! :) I get the beauty products from GNC, not Wal-Mart. I love pure and wholesome foods and products on and in my body. There is no doubt that cancer is caused by foreign substances being put on and in our bodies. Also, I'm not sure about vaccines. I do not feel comfortable injecting foreign substances in the body of my pure baby to ensure he doesn't get a disease that is not even in existence right now. For, "just in case". Nope. Evan hasn't had any vaccines and never will unless his daddy and I feel that it is pertinent (in the event of natural disaster, etc.) Erin hasn't gotten any past 6 months old either. For those reading my blog, there is plenty of research out there on the web against vaccines. Anyway, I don't trust doctors at ALL. That is a part of my being crunchy, I guess. I know that we aren't exempt from things, or immortal for that matter, I just love being as healthy as possible for me and my family. And for us that means, breastfeeding, eating organics as much as possible, using herbs, and no vaccinations. Enuf said? :)

*The weather is beautiful today; brisk and a bit cool. I look forward to getting my house straightened and heading outside. I need to pick up pecans and whatever else. There is plenty to do always! I also think I will wash clothes and hang them out instead of drying them. This evening we have 2 cookouts/ fall festivities to go to and I'm excited about those. Have a new recipe for Pumpkin Cheesecake Brownies that I'm going to try. I'll share the recipe if they turn out.

Have a gorgeous fall! I'm leaving you with 2 pictures: one of my fall centerpiece, and the other of my fall produce from my garden: collards!! :)

Now it's MY turn..

...to be sick! I feel awful tonight..throat getting sore, pressure in my head and ears, and a general aching feeling. I'm sure it would help if I would go to bed and get some rest, but, no, I'm here on this blessed internet!

Wanted to post a couple of funnies about my kids. This morning before getting ready for church, Emory got 2 stuffed bears and got behind the recliner. He made us sit on the couch. He put on a puppet show for us, "The Three little Bears". It wa hilarious. When he finished he said, "Now, let's see what our Bible verse is today." Then, he said he would sing a song to end the puppet show and sang "This Little Light of Mine". I was rolling!

Then, today in Booster Band at church, we were singing the song that goes, "If the Devils in the Way, we will run right over him" and when we finished, I made a comment like, "No, we don't want to pick the devil up, we want to just run right over him." And Erin pipes up and says, "No, he's too heavy (to pick up). " It was hilarious! Kids, kids!!

This week, I aim to go to bed a little earlier, read and pray on my knees every day and get to work earlier. I also would like to stop and 'smell the roses' a little with my kids. Play outside together. Something like that. Life is so short!

Ouch. my. throat. hurts.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Evan is teething and that has obviously made him uncomfortable. I know that he is teething, but I do not know if that is totally contributing to his uncomfortableness. He has a runny nose and didn't want to nurse this morning. I think his throat could be sore. The others have sinus problems going on, too. We did a LOT of holding today. I have mastered the art of doing most anything while holding the young one: wiping another after pottying, bathing a child, going to the bathroom myself, filling out bills, shopping (more on that later), etc. while holding my heavy 2 monther. My back is telling the news. I'm planning a trip to the chiropractor within the next week. Between bending over to pump and to breastfeed, coupled with slumping over while holding him, my back is shot.

The middle of the month paycheck is always for our car payment, so what is left is divided between about 3 other smaller bills. There's not much left for anything else. I needed just a few things to tie me over to the next paycheck day (mine), so I set out for Wal-Mart with Erin and Evan in tow. Emory was doing the man thing with his daddy. Evan did wonderfully going out there, falling asleep in the carseat; but I knew he wouldn't stay in it in the store. So, I held him while I shopped. It wasn't too bad. He wasn't perfect, but he was as good as could be expected (teething and all). I did the shopping thing, got up to pay and guess what? I didn't have my wallet. It was a moment to remember. So, I called husband and he called my MIL and she was coming to Walmart anyway, so she brought it to me. I had to nurse Evan during that time anyway, so it worked out. I was so tired and we were starving by the time we got home (bypassed the fast food joints bc I was beyond ready to get home). Oh, another thing that happened was while we were in the van, Erin had to go to the potty. I had just started nursing Evan, so I knew I could not hold him off for us to go back into Walmart. So, I grabbed up an article of clothing to absorb the peepee while she 'went'. It didn't do too good of a job! Oh my, we have fun. I was almost in tears when I talked to my husband on the way home. It was just one of those days! Needless to say, I will be checking my purse for my wallet from now on! Also, I don't think I'll be going back without assistance from my better half!

The day ended up better. I picked up some pecans, 500 to be exact (I count everything..it's a weird thing about me..just ONE of the many weird things), brought in some collards from the garden (that I have to 'look' over before bed...they are stinking up the house...I got in trouble for blaming the smell on husband's feet..lol), got the kids in bed BEFORE 8pm (no nap for either) and I'm about to go see about making a lemon pound cake. My kitchen needs a bit of cleaning and I can't stand to cook in a dirty kitchen.

Amy, you will appreciate the day I had today. I'm sure you've had one like it before, right?

General "Goings On" Blog

What has been going on with us...

Me: This week was report card week so I was pretty busy getting my papers graded, keyed in, and just a general making sure that everything was set for report cards. It was a hectic time, but when it is over, the relief equals the relief that you get from finishing a term paper and handing it in (I SO remember those feelings). I still love my job. I absolutely love teaching and am really protective when it comes to my classroom and my students. My students and I have a special bond (well, we are working on it with my high school class). They love me and I love them. If they don't love me, they are puttin' up a good front! I mean, they are kids, sure, and they act like kids, but I love that! We started something new today in reading, "Story Squad" and they are all excited, which I love to see! Anyway....what else? I'm still working on the clutter in our home. My goal is 500 items either thrown away, put in yard sale, or Salvation Army. I know now why it's called, Salvation Army, because it SAVES my sanity! :) I'm working on the kid's rooms this week. My goal is 75 items this week. From junk toys (broken pieces or broken toys) to clothes that I just won't ever put on them (like, non-functional clothes..ex. leggings for Erin, I mean, really...), it's looking (and feeling) good. Let's see...what else? This week I lost a couple of pounds by not eating in between meals and just not stuffing myself. My clothes are fitting better this week! I ate TWO Patty Melt Sandwiches today for lunch, so I'm not so sure the scales will say what it did this morning. What else??? Still breastfeeding and I'm glued to a pump at school (3 times a day). Dedication, baby, dedication. I wouldn't have it any other way for my baby. It's hard work, that's for sure. Boring, too. Pumping milk from your body for 15 minutes or more, 3 times a day. Enough about me!

Husband: Job is going well...getting raises every so often. He makes twice what I make, so that's pretty depressing for me, now! haha He is out of town for a couple of nights a month, so that's not fun, but I DO get to rest well all night. Now I know it's not the baby keeping me up at night, it's my husband's tossing and turning! I do miss him while he is gone. He is a big help with the kids, too. He's the bestest and loves me so much. I don't ever know why!! We had a good time outside today, hanging out, shooting the BB gun, walking up to the cemetary. Yeah...get this mental picture...husband, wife, 3 kids, and husband carrying a gun, walking to the cemetary. LOL Got the picture? We must've been a sight. It's a wonder that the cops didn't come. Oh, and on the way back, I carried the baby AND the dog (to prevent her death from chasing cars). We have a lotta fun!

Emory: He is getting to be such a nice boy, a great helper, and just a sweetheart. He has good manners and I'm so proud of him. He is my artist! His pictures are better than mine! He is showing an interest in reading and I can't wait to teach him more. He is recognizing his sounds/letter patterns. He's maintaining his weight now, which is good. Getting taller is helping also! Still LOVES to eat, though! :)

Erin: My beautiful daughter is the smartest thing I know! She talks as well as a grown up! She is showing a huge interests in puzzles this week. As I type, there are about 5 puzzles on my living room floor that she has tried to put together, being successful at a couple. I'm amazed! She loves animals (esp dogs and elephants), chips, and scratching my neck. She also loves to suck in her lip WHILE scratching my neck. She's a big girl.

Evan: My this boy is growing. I haven't weighed him in forever. He is wearing some 6 mos clothes now! He is the cutest thing I've seen and is keeping his dark hair and features. He is 'talking', laughing, and loves to gnaw on his hands. I think he might be teething! He still loves mama and I'm so blessed to have him.

I can't imagine being done with having kids even though some look at me crazy when I say I want more. I look at them crazy for only wanting one or two, so we have a mutual respect for one another! LOL We have the best time as a family and babies are just too fun!! I already think about having another baby and what he or she will be like. Of course, I'd rather wait a little bit longer! :)

Enough rambling! What is going on with you?

On the road, Overwhelmed, and Out with the clutter!

This week, I did something very brave. Very.Brave. I packed up my 3 kids, a small suitcase of things, took $100 and went to my sister's 6 hours away. My mom and dad went to my brother's in MO, so I had the kids for 3 days. My hubby had work-related stuff that caused him to be out of town for 2 nights, so I decided, literally, on the spur of the moment, to head out to GA. Like, I got the idea to go around 9ish Tues morning and I was out the door a little after 11am. Now that I look back, I think, what was I smokin'? But, everything went smoothly (as smoothly as it can with small kids). The trip turned into an 8 hour trip both times, but that's okay. If you get in a hurry with small ones, you will be stressed out and things will get hairy fast (like they do when we get ready for church). We had to stop for lotsa potty breaks (Erin), feeding times, and McDonald's/play times, but it was nice. My kids *gulp* had only been to McDonald's once or twice before. They thought they were in heaven (esp Em)! On the way back, we had 2 traffic jams, where I had to take Evan out of his carseat and Erin had to peepee in her Pull-up (that was hard to make her do), but everything was cool. The Lord gives me patience and wisdom, I can feel it. Because when one looks back on a could-be-stressful situation that went smoothly, he or she knows that the Lord is with him/her. It is awesome that the Lord cares about everything we go thru. My sister and I had a great time. She is so creative and has such a nice home. I may have the musical talent of the family, but she certainly has the organizational ability and the creativity! The kids had a blast playing together! We just chilled and the weather was so nice! It was great to visit my sister and her family. Oh, and I survived Atlanta traffic with a screaming infant..lol.

Overwhelmed. Hmmm....don't get me wrong, I have my priorities in perspective, but it still SO bothers me that my house and life is quite chaotic. My kids and I have a blast, I meet their's and my husband's needs, they don't stress me, I don't holler, etc., but I am overwhelmed. I can't remember/don't have time to call ppl I love on their birthdays, send thank you cards, keep promises to my students (oh boy, overwhelmed at school, too...you should see how many ungraded papers I have collected that MUST be graded by Wed) organize, clean, straighten, etc. This is interesting. I was telling my husband just today that I used to think women whose homes were cluttered/unkempt (is that a word?) and who were scatterbrained were bad moms. Now I know that very few women can be a good mom AND be uncluttered, organized, etc. Anybody feeling me? It's just near impossibility to meet the needs of your family and have a neat as a pin home and remember all the remberings without losing your mind. Maybe it's just because I have a newborn. I don't know, but I am so overwhelmed. Example. I have clothes awaiting foldment on the table, the freezer, the dryer. I have clothes awaiting washment on the floor in the laundry room, the bathroom, the bedrooms, the van, and probably other places. I have clothes in bags from various places (grandmother's, clothes given to us, etc) on the chairs in the living room, the dining room table, in the van, and probably in the kids' room. Wish leads me to the next subject. Clutter.

I vow to, this week, if the pets don't get fed, if the plants die, if the beds remain unmade, if diapers stay dirty (j/k), that I will eliminate some of the clutter in my home. I absolutely loathe clutter. Clutter spells stress to me. My kids have clothes, shoes, undergarments, toys, etc. that they have outgrown that are just contributing to clutter. My room is a clutter zone like you've never seen. It stresses me to the max. I have contributed 1% of clutter to my home. Every now and then various ppl send/give/buy us toys, clothes, etc., that we don't need, albeit appreciate, but again, more clutter. I love things simple. If it were up to me, my kids would have a few wooden toys ( I LOVE wooden toys), books (tons), a few simple dolls, blocks, and what else does a child need? Just this week, I had 2 huge bags of stuff for my kids donated by someone in all generosity. Erin got a couple of pairs of Crocs, which I can 't afford, out of the deal, so I was so thankful, but then again, more clutter. So, anybody want to take the clutter challenge? I'm thinking I'm going to get a big paper towel box, set it in my LR and put about 15 items per day in the clutter bin. Then, I 'll sort the box into sections, ship it all the Salvation Army and relax in my clutter free home. Anyone up for the challenge? Christmas is coming and that means, sigh, more clutter. Appreciated clutter, but still I need to go out with the old and in with the new! :)

Long time, no blog. Hope everyone had a great weekend. We had a good singing today--seven people came to the altar and prayed. It was very nice. I'm anticipating revivial at our home church. I can feel it. God is waiting to move and I can't wait. I want to be smack dab in the middle of what He pours out.

Bad experiences and good results

Well, my baby is 8 weeks old today. As I sit here, typing one-handed, holding his spoiled self, I can't imagine life being any sweeter. He is now 15 pounds and has a 6 month outfit on now. He loves being held, being outside, mama's milk, mama, in general, and baths. He hates carseats, changing clothes, and being put down. He still screams and cries bloody murder while in his carseat about 9 trips out of 10. He won't lay down and 'play' for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. Things are better though. He no longer has colic at nighttime. He is sleeping until 5:30 and sometimes after 7! Praise God for that! He has been cooing for about 2 weeks now. His behaviors are very predictable and I'm enjoying that. That will change before too long! LOL



A couple of nights ago, I was thinking about my hospital experience and it really depressed me. I mean seriously. I was crying and downright angry at my birth experience. I've not blogged about it, but between the delivery nurse getting up in my face telling me to calm down that I was upsetting everyone on the floor to my meals never being right, it was horrible. The anthesthesiologist (I know I won't spell that right) arriving after 8, when I asked for an epidural at 6:30, my excruciating pain that caused my husband to break down crying in the waiting room (after I told him to 'please kill me'), the cafeteria ladies leaving the tray of food across the room, expecting me and my 12 inch gash up my butt to walk over and get it, the wayyy less than friendly OB who put me into a panic by saying, We have GOT to get this baby out now, the awful vein that blew when the blood pressure cuff came on, the same said nurse who forgot to empty my bladder until a nurse, thankfully, asked me if she had (about an hour after birth) and I said No (she got out a deep tupperware-type bowl full), having to be 'checked' 80 times by various people, having no one except my husband to sympathize with my excruciating pain, but most of all I will never forget the pain. The pain that comes with going from having natural contractions to water-breaking and Pitocin jacked up contractions. I will never forget it. And, having people coming in and out of the room while you are dying and they are doing nothing about it. Me saying I can't breathe (and I couldn't..hello, I had asthma written on my papers) and having them ignore me. Well, it was horrible. The only 2 good things that came from the hospital were that my son's circumcision went well and they didn't give us a lot of junk about not vaxing him. That was nice. Anyway...I had more typed but lost most of it. He is awake...More later.

I Love my kids!

For once, I'm not speaking about MY kids. I'm talking about my students. Today, at chapel, when I saw my students edging closer to me for prayer, I realized just how much I love these kids. I was instantly convicted that I don't pray for my students everyday. I'm going to make an effort to pray for them both collectively and individually. Speaking of chapel, we have it every other Wednesday at my school. It is usually wonderful and today was no exception. We had the black-light puppets, a game, a memory verse, songs, and a message. By the end, the kids are going to the 'altar' in droves. It is wonderful. The tears are flowing and they are so sincere. I pray they find what they need while their hearts are young and tender. The world is so cold and dark. Peer pressure looms ahead. Reality says that most of them will become parents too early, involved in drugs, and/or being in a divorce. I do love them all and really care for them.

On a lighter note, we do have a lot of fun in the classroom. I have this one student who is always blaming his neighbor for 'cutting the cheese', farting, or being gassy. He is so funny. I'm enjoying teaching them and have a lot of fun as well. I talk through their math problems being silly. They come up to my desk and explain the math problem to me using the same silly techniques I do. One mom told me that she was going over rounding numbers with her little girl. She said the little girl was saying, "Okay, I have to go over to my neighbor, knock on the door, and say, Neighbor, are you five or greater?" LOL That is exactly the way I taught it to them on the board. Today, I taught them subtraction w/borrowing by us 'loaning chickens to our neighbors next door' or 'giving away a child to the neighbor'. (You know borrowing and putting a one in the place value, etc.) A little girl came up to my desk and was saying to herself, "Okay, I have to give this neighbor one" LOL. I love my job.

Then, I come home and my babies at home keep so much joy in my life. Last night, Bradley was all into talking spiritually to Emory about God having a plan for his life, he has special talents God gave him, etc. etc. I mean he was really into it and Emory had been listening for 5 minutes. All of the sudden Emory said, "Well, I like PBS Kids and that's a gift". LOL I thought I would die. And just today, Bradley threw a ball at Emory (just playing) and it landed in his cereal. Emory took it personally and was quite upset that the cereal was everywhere. Bradley apologized and Erin piped up (from the kitchen) and said, "Daddy, you know Jesus saw you do that". LOL

My students won't be so cute to me tomorrow if I don't get into bed. It's almost 12. What am I thinking?!?

Present Disgust and Past Reflections

For the past few days I've been reflecting upon a few years ago. Regarding me. One of my favorite memories of my life is my honeymoon. The first time to be alone with the one you love. Not just alone, but away and alone. What an awesome time we had! Now, overnight, we have 3 precious kids who have changed our lives forever. Then, I've been reflecting on my first home. We were only in our trailer for about a year before we moved. I barely remember the trailer. I try hard to think of things about it and it is very foggy. I worked so much during that time that I wasn't home too much. I was also quite moody during that time (BC pills). I have remembrances of crying several instances for no reason. I was a real whiny hole. Honest. So I've matured. That sorta comes with the kids thing. The main reflection I have is that I was skinny. I've been really thinking about how nice of a sleek, skinny, flabless figure I had back then. I'm really disgusted with my looks in general, which includes the wardrobe as well. The scales have not budged an ounce in a month now. I'm getting very impatient. I've heard it takes longer with each child, but my word, I should have at least lost 2 pounds in a month! I must have a lot of fat stores for my little nursling! Anyway, I'm dying to get down to 130. That is my ultimate goal. That's 4 pounds from my honeymoon weight. I'll take 140 by Christmas. I have about 9 pounds to lose. Surely, it can be done! My wardrobe has MUCH to be desired. I would love about $200 to spend on a new wardrobe. I could do it with $200. My clothes aren't even me. My clothes that I wear, I don't even like. I don't want to sound all discontent here. I'm really not. I wear the clothes, I'm happy in them, and I don't complain while I wear them. In fact, I'm not ready for a new wardrobe until I get the weight that I want to be. I refuse to be a drab mother of 3. I want to be as hip as I can be (being Pentecostal and all..lol) without looking like a teenager look alike. I want to still shop at Victoria's Secret and Buckle and Old Navy, etc. Anyway, just some reflections on my present disgust. I don't like what I see in the mirror. I know I'm being so vain, Lord forgive me. I'm being honest, but it's still vain. I do have beautiful, no, gorgeous children. They are my life. God is good. What a meaningless post. I apologize to all. This post would fit under one of those "Dear Diary" post.

I do want to say I'm thankful to still have my mom with me. She had a wreck on Saturday that could have been bad. She is unharmed and I'm so thankful. God is good, again.

Compliments, Changes, and Challenges

The other day I saw a lady that I am acquainted with, but not close friends with (I hate ending sentences with prepostions). This lady is always so put together. She is not beautiful, per se, but she is always dressed so neatly, her toes and fingernails are always done, her hair is always shining and looks freshly combed. Get what I mean? She is really sweet, too, so that becomes her looks. For some reason, I just wanted to compliment her, but I felt strange about doing so. Do you ever do that? Then, on my drive home, I was thinking. If someone wanted to compliment me, I would love for them to not refrain from doing so! What does a compliment do to a woman? Boost her self esteem, makes her feel wonderful about herself, etc. What is it about us women that keeps us from complimenting each other? Is it pride or is it just because we might feel weird? I think it can be both. In this case, I didn't know the lady very well, so I didn't compliment her because I felt weird about doing so (she doesn't know me very well, she might think I'm gay or something..lol). There has been times I haven't complimented close friends or family because of pride. I guess I didn't want to give them the satisfaction that they looked good or something. Does that make sense? I'm awfully ashamed to admit that. The bottom line is, I hope I do better at complimenting. When I feel like complimenting, I'm going to really try to do so. I wish someone would compliment me if they feel like it. I promise I wouldn't think they were gay! LOL

We are doing some changes to our house tomorrow--putting on a new roof. I'm excited about the final project, but I'm not excited about having 20 men (who are NOT my husband or Matt Damon, lol) being on my roof hammering all day long. I am grateful, though, for the generous help of the men from our church. Praise the Lord for friends!

My class is a challenge this year. I have whiners, slow learners, tattle-tales, and 'teachers'. It is going to be quite a ride this year. I'm sure I'll grow to love them all, but I'm going to need special prayer to handle it the way that would be pleasing to the Lord. I don't dare want to offend one of the little ones as the scripture says.

Have a great weekend! Comments welcomed!

More Goat Milk, Please?

Once or twice a week, I don't have enough milk to give to my mom to feed Evan. I'm in a hurry to pump or just low supply, I guess, and don't get but 2 or 3 oz per pumping session. He is drinking about 4 ounces now to be satisfied. My mom is giving him raw goat milk to supplement him. Today she had to give him an entire bottle of goat milk because he wanted to eat right before it was time for me to arrive. She said he was so calm afterward and even went to sleep on his own (that's a first or second)! Goat milk is an excellent (and better) alternative to formula. It has fewer proteins so our tummies don't have to work as hard to break them down. I know regular milk makes me feel gassy, but goat milk with my cereal digests just fine! Anyway, it sounds like I have an answer to my what-if-I-run-out-of-milk-but-don't-want-to-use-formula problem.

A prayer was answered for a dear friend of mine recently. I'm rejoicing in God's goodness tonight. His ways are not our ways! God is great! All I'm gonna post tonight...Dh is doing the rocking so I can blog. Evan is fussing with him. Wanted to add a pic but it will take too long. Try to upload it tomorrow. Goodnight....

Nolstagia and Neighbors

Last night husband and I got out the old video camera and looked at some footage of Emory from when he was about 1.5 yrs old. I had not viewed this tape in a couple of years, so it was very sentimental to look at it. He was so little, could barely talk and was saying, "Cheese" the whole time at the camera. We have footage of him saying the Blessing that is precious. I held back my emotions, but it was hard. I can't believe he is four years old now. I am so pleased with how he has turned out. Even though he is just four, his 'makeup' for the rest of his life has already been established. He already has his outlook on life. Scary, huh? I pray every day and every time I pray that God gives me wisdom to teach my children, love them unconditionally, and to be ever so patient with them. I don't ever want to offend one of His little ones. I do want to discipline him when he needs it, but heap love on him while administering the discipline. Anyway, after watching the video, I wanted to go to his room and love on him a little bit. I refrained, but this morning at 3 am when he came in our room and wanted water, I was ever so glad to get it for him. I tucked him back into bed more gently than normal. I placed an extra kiss on his check as I pulled the covers around him. Fact: my son is growing up.

The neighbor kids came up to play today. Emory had a blast with them. I mean, really enjoyed himself. They played in the yard, all the games we used to play as a child (Red rover, Hide and Seek, etc). It was refreshing to see him (and Erin) having such a good time. The only downside to this is the family is not professing Christians. I heard the little boy use God's name in vain one time. I prayed that mine would not catch on to it. I also hoped that they wouldn't notice the father smoking five cigarettes in the time they were playing. I want them to play with these kids and I would love to reach the family for Christ, but I don't want my kids learning about things or saying things they shouldn't. Or especially seeing lifestyles that they aren't accustomed to. I pray that I get wisdom about what to do. I just know we can never be too careful even though people seem to be as nice a people as you could find.

The sun is going down early and temps are lowering. It's so nice. I'm so glad for peace in my home. Thank you God for peace. He is good to us ALL.

Need to go pump a little milk for my ever growing nursling. I'm so in love with him it hurts! Babies are the most precious gifts in the world. Hands down.

Good night!

Naptime. Nudity, and a New Season

Someone should write a new horror movie entitled, "Naptime on Cooper St.". I sometimes forget what naptime (or non naptime) was like when Emory was a toddler. When I do have flashbacks, I remember being frustrated to the nth degree and it taking forever for him to go to sleep and for my frustration levels to return to normal. Now, I don't get quite so frustrated because I have a different method of parenting (never allow them to get up for no reason) and I take care of the 'issue' before I get frustrated. Still, the naptime nightmare is here most of the time. My darling hard-headed, albeit sweet, daughter loves to take her precious time to go to sleep. She is almost always the last one to drift off between the two. She can think of excuses to get up with the best of them. Punishment doesn't scare her, it's a challenge. Now, that I've typed that, I think she's finally drifted off....yay.

My son is getting interested in parts, if you kwim. He is quite an aspiring young artist and draws on his drawing board several times a day. The other night, he had drawn something on his board. I, thinking, it was fried eggs, or a belly button or something, suggested so. He replied, "No, it's two Nekases (his word for breasts) and a tallywacker". Oh my. Of course, I laughed. I could not help myself. Later, I showed Dh and he had to go out of the room to hide his laughter. When he had composed himself, he had to have a little talk with him about how we don't draw our privates. Oh my.

I smell fall in the air. I'm loving it. The temps are great today. I'll leave you with a picture I took that reminds me of fall.

Off to pick up the fussing baby...

Think this might be my last blog...

Sorry about the last blog, my son sort of took over and pressed "Publish" before I could stop him. I was on the phone, so go figure. Anyway, I didn't pass out or anything while typing like it appears! LOL

I'm pretty sure this will be my last blog under this URL. My blogs have become a more private place to share my thoughts and feelings and I don't want to offend anyone I know IRL. I feel like I need a more private place that I can just 'let it all hang out' without worrying about offending. You know how the pregnancy hormones rage, if you've ever been pregnant.

A dear friend of mine said she heard that I didn't like people calling to check on me or that I was tired of people checking on my pregnancy. I feel so badly because that's not it at all. I appreciate people calling or sending me mail or whatever. What was bothering me a few posts down was that I felt like I had to be on everyone's schedule and people had to make plans around me. Which, there is nothing wrong with either. People have to know. My own parents are putting a trip on hold bc they are trying to wait patiently, albeit I don't know how patient they are really being. :)

Anyway, I don't know where else my friend could've have found out about my frustrations, because my blog is the only place I vent. Now, she says she will try not to call back until after the baby is born, which is not what I want at all. :o( She does not read my blog, so somehow word got to her...

Anyway, I think I just need a diary, type private blog and then just keep my Bebo which is public (to my friends).

Maybe after my hormonal days are over, I can start back posting on this blog and be able to do other things besides express my frustrations and joys with being a parent, and the throes of mommyhood.

I'm really trying to be patient with this lingering pregnancy, but it's very difficult for me to not be just a teensy-weensy impatient (okay, I'm hugely impatient, short-tempered and just plain aggravated). Today I was thinking about all the reasons why I need to have this baby and the number one reason (after my worrying about the baby's overdue health status) was my emotional state of being. I wake up grouchy and just plain aggravated with everybody and everything. ff,u,u,iihk,,,jjjhh,, jhjbjjjj .

ch of plans...

Don't know why my last night's post didn't publish...anyway, I cancelled my induction again. I know I'm probably the talk of the entire hospital, but I did it. Next baby, everyone will know up front what I want to do with my pregnancy. I'm so down again.

change of plans...

Went ahead and cancelled induction! Back to phase one with my body being in charge!

Yippee! Now, just come on out already, baby!

Tomorrow is the big day...

I guess tomorrow will be the big day unless it comes before then. My FIL has taken off work, so Dh wants me to go ahead and keep my induction open. I'm to the point where I tried and no baby came, so I'm going to go ahead. I pray that I go into labor tonight, but why would tonight be any different than other nights? I'm sounding so full of faith, I know.

Anyway, I should have the baby by this time tomorrow. Stay posted.

Pictures from my b-day celebration...

Terence & Katrina..my first cousin
Me and My sister, Ashley
some of my favorite people, Laura, Katrina, and Ashley
The husbands! Lots of laughs here among them


A few of my favorite people.... I don't have a pic of my parents or my In-laws, who were there also. Of course, they are my fav people too! How do I define my favorite people? People U can let it all hang out with and just be yourself! :D I love these folks!

My birthday and other musings

Well, I hope this post will be more upbeat than yesterday's. FWIW, Erin did nap, Emory didn't, we went to see my sister and everything turned out ok. Thank goodness, moods uplift, huh?

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a good one, nothing too eventful (obviously, no baby). Dh let me sleep to almost 12 NOON, isn't that wonderful? I got up around 8am, but he allowed me to go back to sleep while he handled the kids. They brought me a present from them (a stationary set) and was sweet about that. I hung out with Dh and the kids, didn't clean much, just basic straightening. At 4pm, we met some of our dearest friends and family at the Mexican restaurant to have supper for my birthday. We had a really good time. They brought out the sombrero and sang to me. I was embarrassed, but it was fun, too. I'll upload some pics from the restaurant. I don't have one of me in the sombrero, must've slipped my mind, :). We went back to my mom's and talked and let the kids play. I didn't do much getting up off of the couch. Oh, Mom did make me a chocolate chip pound cake for my bday. It was as yummy as I remembered (she used to make it all the time while we were growing up).

As of right now, it is almost 4am and I have been awake since 1am or so. Occasional contractions, but just too uncomfortable to sleep. Erin has a bad cold. She woke up around 2 and still hasn't gone back to sleep. She's watching a movie, sitting next to me. I suspect we'll miss church tomorrow because she and I will probably be sleeping. Speaking of contractions, I have had a lot of activity (contr. the last couple of days). I'm still praying I'll go before Tuesday. I don't want to be induced, but I will probably go ahead with it. I know I'll be depressed about it later and before. Please pray that I'll go before then. Sitting here, I'm having contr. every 5-7 mins, but if I get up, they stop, or they aren't consistent for an hour.

Thanks for not being offending by my post yesterday. I know I was so hormonal! I'm worried that I will be after the baby is born. I'm glad Dh will be taking off a week. At least I hope he still is....

Love to all!

How I'm feeling....beware GROUCH post

The blogs have been few and far between, but I really haven't felt much like blogging. Today, I'm pretty ill, so those are usually good blogging days because I have something to rant and rave about.

Right now, it's naptime. ARG. I could scream. My kids sleep late. We don't get up until after 9 most days. I mean, hello, it's summer. I spend all the rest of the year getting up (them too) at 6:30. So, I don't try to put them down for a nap until 2pm or so. Listen to this...

This morning they played so well, Emory with his blocks, talking to himself in the corner. Erin, lying on her belly on the floor in the kitchen, coloring. I got my chores done (making the beds, sweeping the rooms, general straightening) and was feeling good about my accomplishments. I even swept off the sidewalk/porch while the kids played out for a bit. We came in and had some lunch. While the kids ate, I took my bath (I try to be 'up on' my baths, bc I never know when my last one might be for a while) while my leftover tomato pie heated in the oven. Well, while I ate, they were playing on my bed in the bedroom. I thought one of them would probably get hurt, but I didn't know what else was going on. Finally, after I finished my tomato pie and rested some at the table, I decided to check on them. They had every piece of cover off of all the beds and all the pillows off of, even the couch. All of this was in the middle of the floor in the kid's bedroom. I just about sobbed. It is so hard for me to do my housework now with this big 14 pound child between my legs. They had undone all my work. I went and got me a switch. I know they were just having a bit of fun, but I had already told them to not pull the covers off, that they could play with just the pillows. So, we worked at getting everything back in order.

By this time, it is 2:30-2:45 or so. I finally have them go to the bathroom and get them in bed. It is now 4:10 and neither one is asleep. Erin has got up to poop twice, got up about 5 times just to get up (striped her booty, but she is SO stubborn), including while I've been writing this, and Emory has gotten up once to poop and he is still in his bed jabbering away. I don't mind his missing a nap, but I insist he stay in bed and rest for awhile. Erin missed her nap yesterday (same scenerio exactly as today...I finally said 'forget it, get up' at 4:30) and was a basket case by last night.

I. am. so. tired.

I am tired of people asking if I'm still pregnant. I am tired of people calling before they go places to see how I'm doing before they go. Isn't that stupid of me? It's just aggravating being on everyone's schedule. I am tired of feeling tired of that because I know people are just concerned. I am so pressured to have this baby on Tuesday. I don't want to be induced. I am Natural Mama, I believe in natural birth, nature, duh. But, I feel so much pressure to have this baby. Everybody has to adjust their schedule around my having this baby. Everybody needs to know a date and a time. I am about to scream. Last night, Dh sat on the couch and told me I could cry if I want. But, you know I am past tears. I'm just so tired. I want to be pregnant in peace and just have this baby when it's ready. Well, I think my child is back up AGAIN. Okay, I'm back. I haven't even been excited about just having my baby because I feel like the world is just waiting on this baby to come so their lives can go on. Well, she fell off the bed. Hold on.

I think I've made the statement, "Noone is more ready than I for this baby to come", but I don't think that is true. There are people more ready for this baby than I am. I just want it to come when it's ready. The anxiety I'm feeling is from other's anxiety.

I am not a rude person. I don't mean to sound rude or offensive. I know everyone who makes comments are just concerned and I really appreciate it, honest. Really, what bothers me most is just the pressure I feel to have the baby now. "We need to know when it's coming" kind of thing. "You're still pregnant?" kind of thing.

I'm just having a rough day. My baby girl won't nap and I'm falling apart at the seams.

The good news is my sister and her family are down. Hope to get to see them tonight. If my kids don't nap, we won't go. That is a fact.

Keep coming back for more news, hopefully. Sorry to be so hormonal. I'm sure that's what it is.

To those I've left hanging...

Hello all! I have not had my baby, I've just haven't had much to report on my blog. I hope to liven it up again with some news before long. Basically, I cancelled my induction on Tuesday (for Wed) which I'm glad bc at my dr. appt on Wed., I was still 2 cm with my cervix thick. I don't think my labor would've progressed as well as I would like. So, here we are, Sunday night and still I'm here. My due date isn't until Wednesday, but everyone (including myself) is so ready for this baby. I think people actually feel sorry for me. :) I already have a few of the older men fr the church who volunteered this wk to drive me to the hospital. :) I'm going again Wed for my appt., and my Dh does not want me to come back home, but I probably will unless I'm a good 4 cm or so (active labor). As anxious as I am (NO one is as ready as I) to have this baby, I just believe in letting nature take over when it's time. The baby will come when ready. I guess that's the natural, crunchy side coming out of me. I did look on the internet today for some natural induction methods, but none appealed to me, really. I don't want to have diarrhea the entire I'm in labor so I don't want to try castor oil, etc. Once again, my body will not fail me when it comes to going into labor.

The only worry I have is my sister and her family are coming this weekend. I would hate for them to come and drive back home only to miss the birth by a day or so. They wouldn't get to come back for awhile. But, the Lord knows these things also.

My mom has been really good about coming once a wk and helping me here at the house. Of course, tonight (Sunday night) you can't tell it. I don't clean much on Sundays (rest day, right?) so by nightfall, it's pretty disastrous. If I did go into labor tonight, I would have to enlist someone to come straighten while I'm gone.

Emory has gone about 3 or 4 days straight with no nap. We sleep so late during the day that he just doesn't get sleepy. He is doing fine without the naps. We still don't go to bed until 9:30 or 10, but I know this will change when I go back to work.

Speaking of work, I've 'heard' that I will have the maths this year and maybe even a high school science. I really, really don't want this. I will do it, but it is not my desire at all. I'm just going to pray that I won't have to, Lord willing. I don't want a stressful year. I don't mind the maths as much, but my preference would be 3 Reading classes and 2 maths. I would love that schedule!!

Megan, sorry that I've left you hanging, hon! I have Bebo, too, that I update quite frequently, so if you have Bebo, let me know and I'll hook you up to my Bebo page! Also, I'm in the business for a good sling, let me know of a good brand. I want something stylish, yet maybe something I can find on Ebay. Send me a comment....hugs!

Will upload some photos later from the kids at the library!

38.5 week picture

Here are a couple pictures of me (one with my son) in my miserable state. :) Enjoy!

This baby WILL come!

I had my 38 wk checkup today and basically, not much has changed. I have now gained 30 lbs, I'm still 2 cm, cervix is still thick, baby is 'made' (as the dr. put it). I take it that he means I'm measuring 40 wks now. He sat me up for an induction for next Wed, but I'm more than likely going to cancel it. He told me I could, but that it was best to schedule and cancel than to decide to schedule at the last minute. He is going to Washington next weekend, too, so I guess he had that in mind. I really, really want this baby to come on its own. I would like a Pitocin-free birth, if possible.

Even though I didn't show much progress today, I feel so close. I'm so achy tonight and just feel it won't be long. If I could get my cervix thinned, I'm sure things would move along much faster. I think I might have a 9 pounder or so. Especially if I go until my due date. I read on a website yesterday that after 38 wks, the baby gains an ounce a day! Wow.

I did walk some today in the mall (got to spend some time with my dear friend, Tina) and then walked a mile tonight in the gym. I will probably be sore and achy tomorrow from walking with this big head pressing on my pelvic bone! I'm going to start taking a few bags of red raspberry tea tomorrow and see what that does.

My mood is better. After mom came and cleaned for me, it helped so much. You know I'm so weird about if my house is not cleaned and straightened, I can't function. Esp when I think, what if I go into labor and leave my house like this? The kids have played good this latter part of the week. They love to run, play, and laugh but it scares me silly that one of them is going to get hurt. It usually does happen. Yesterday, Erin would play for 45 mins at the time with the lincoln log blocks. Emory does that anyway, but I'm noticing how Erin is beginning to play for a long period of time. And here comes a newborn. LOL

I finally got up the nerve to mention my girl name to my Dh (I'm not scared of him, just scared of having to come up with another name) and he said ok! So, that is set. I guess he is set on the boy name. We haven't talked about it for months.

God is good and his blessings just floor me sometimes. I want more of him in my life. I don't deserve him, that's for sure. He's so good to me and my family.

Good night!

Just a few pics from the park...

Nothing new to report on the pregnancy front, so I thought I'd report some pix from the park the other day.

A bit of a downer post....

I felt (feel) so down today. First of all, I couldn't get going good. I wanted to get up and read my Bible and pray because I just HAVE to have God's wisdom and help everyday. I know myself. I need God to direct me as a wife and mother. I can do it on my own for a few days, but then it will hit me, BAM, I've got to have help from a higher power. I did sneak to my bedroom and read a little and pray for about 5 mins before I was discovered having left the room by my dear shadow (Erin), but I was disappointed that I didn't have that strong 'moving mountains' prayer time. Then, the kids mentioned going to the park. My immediate reaction was, absolutely not, but I did feel the Holy Spirit quicken me to spend time with my kids today. I mean, I don't know when I'll be able to take them to the park or swimming or whatever when the baby gets here. So, it took a lot to turn me away from my unkempt house and take them to the park. We had a pretty good time. I am just in no shape to really enjoy things like park trips. If I sit down, I can't get up without a scene. I can't chase after a stray child. It is murder to get in and out of vehicles. All in all, it wasn't disastrous. Emory got frustrated way more than once because the slides don't really work out for him and he can't really get into the swings by himself. I can't help him because he's 80 pounds. When we got back from the park, we went by my dear MIL who has cooked so many meals for us lately, I feel like a rotten wife/mother. I appreciate it so much, but I feel like I haven't taken care of my family in the food department. We ate lunch with her and the kids wanted to go swimming. Emory can get in there fine by himself (we stay nearby), but Erin wanted to go, so I ended up wet, on the steps, while they swam nearby. I enjoyed watching them play in the water. When Emory woke up from his nap, I was outside working in my yard which is so stoopid because I had so much to do inside. But, because I have OCD and have to follow a stupid cleaning schedule and it's Monday and my schedule says to work in the yard for 15 mins, I was out when he woke up. He was just about having a nervous breakdown when I got in the house because he couldn't find me. I felt so bad for him. When Erin woke from her nap, it was downhill from there. She is so whiney, stubborn, and got hurt so many times today for us to count (splinter in her toe, mashed fingers about 4 times in the last 2 days, cut foot, and other endless pangs..she's a drama queen). She is sooo cute and sweet, but she is going through this little stage. The other part is that I'm tooo tired and can't get up to discipline them like I should. I hate myself for this. I don't want my kids to have regressed in their behavior just because I've had a child. I'm just going to try to do better tomorrow. I just want to do better in the less hollering/ not so grouchy mood. Irritable, yikes!

Another thing is with my dear husband. I feel like he gets second best. The children get first (not by my intentions, just the way it seems to work with mothering small kids) and he gets the leftovers. He comes in from work and I give him the "it's been a tiring, rough, day and yes, I'm still pregnant" look instead of being so joyful that he's home. I don't feel like being affectionate, yet I need affection, really. We are both irritable a bit this week. You know if mama's not happy, noone is?

Lastly, is I have a dear friend who is going through the hell of her life. I feel so helpless and hopeless about how to help her. Things that are happening are not even her fault. I just wish for everything to be back normal for her. I get so mad at the devil and have a renewed hatred for him tonight. He is so out to destroy God's people. God help us all.

Sorry to be such a downer post. This is my blog and my thoughts. Sometimes cheerful, sometimes not. I prayed today that God will just 'restore unto me the joy of my salvation'. I need it badly. I need to be a 100% mama and 100% wife. Nothing else is beneficial to my family. Thanks for reading. Pray for me. God is still good.

God Bless!

Just wanted to add a 37 week photo. Not much difference, but I decided to keep the photos going. That and indigestion. ICK.

What a week!

What a week this has been! Monday night, I started having contractions that were pretty intense coming regularly every 5 minutes. They were lasting about 15-20 seconds or so. They were accompanied by cramping and back discomfort. I finally woke up DH around 2:00 and before I knew it, he was up and dressed. I didn't really feel the need to go to the hospital yet, but that didn't matter to him, lol. Basically, we got checked (2cm) 4 different times (UGH) and I got my contractions monitored. They finally spaced out to 10 mins and then quit. I've been doing fine since then, pregnancy wise. This baby is wanting to bake some more. I'm feeling really uncomfortable tonight and have had some intense contractions. Nothing regular, tho.

We had a good fourth spent with our family. I'm posting some pictures from the fourth of my kids at my mom's and dad's.

Thursday night, I had severe pain in my bad tooth. I mean s-e-v-e-r-e. We got an appointment Friday and I got the tooth cleaned out, medicated, etc. I have never been in so much pain. If you have never had tooth/jaw pain, you haven't felt pain as severe as you could feel. I'm better today--on antibiotics and pain meds. I haven't had to even take pain meds today. Weird what a difference a day (and prayer) makes!!

Type more later....

Not too much to update

I don't have a lot to update, but basically my cervix is soft and 'ripe'. LOL Sounds nice! My dr. said that since this is my 3rd baby, I don't have to be dialated or thinned to go from 0-10 very fast. He said I would have a fast labor, which freaks me out.

I have felt awful today. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I slept all the way to my appt (almost 2 hrs away) and all the way back, so that tells me I didn't get as much sleep as I thought I had. The recliner isn't even sufficing me now. My back/side hurt a lot today and I've felt bloated. I have a slight sinus thing going on too. I just felt bad.

I was up 4 lbs. My total wt gain is 27 pounds. My bp was 110/68 which is always good. I have to go back next Friday. I can't help but thinking that might be the 13th. Hmmm.. Friday the 13th may bring good news?

Back to shelling my butterbeans. Harvest time is in full swing. Sure are enjoying the watermelons, though. YUM!

36 week picture

Taken tonight...this shirt really camoflauges my huge belly! Tomorrow is my dr appt...can't wait to see what the dr. says! A few extras of Erin (hiding and building a house)..her two favorite things to do.