More Goat Milk, Please?

Once or twice a week, I don't have enough milk to give to my mom to feed Evan. I'm in a hurry to pump or just low supply, I guess, and don't get but 2 or 3 oz per pumping session. He is drinking about 4 ounces now to be satisfied. My mom is giving him raw goat milk to supplement him. Today she had to give him an entire bottle of goat milk because he wanted to eat right before it was time for me to arrive. She said he was so calm afterward and even went to sleep on his own (that's a first or second)! Goat milk is an excellent (and better) alternative to formula. It has fewer proteins so our tummies don't have to work as hard to break them down. I know regular milk makes me feel gassy, but goat milk with my cereal digests just fine! Anyway, it sounds like I have an answer to my what-if-I-run-out-of-milk-but-don't-want-to-use-formula problem.

A prayer was answered for a dear friend of mine recently. I'm rejoicing in God's goodness tonight. His ways are not our ways! God is great! All I'm gonna post tonight...Dh is doing the rocking so I can blog. Evan is fussing with him. Wanted to add a pic but it will take too long. Try to upload it tomorrow. Goodnight....

Nolstagia and Neighbors

Last night husband and I got out the old video camera and looked at some footage of Emory from when he was about 1.5 yrs old. I had not viewed this tape in a couple of years, so it was very sentimental to look at it. He was so little, could barely talk and was saying, "Cheese" the whole time at the camera. We have footage of him saying the Blessing that is precious. I held back my emotions, but it was hard. I can't believe he is four years old now. I am so pleased with how he has turned out. Even though he is just four, his 'makeup' for the rest of his life has already been established. He already has his outlook on life. Scary, huh? I pray every day and every time I pray that God gives me wisdom to teach my children, love them unconditionally, and to be ever so patient with them. I don't ever want to offend one of His little ones. I do want to discipline him when he needs it, but heap love on him while administering the discipline. Anyway, after watching the video, I wanted to go to his room and love on him a little bit. I refrained, but this morning at 3 am when he came in our room and wanted water, I was ever so glad to get it for him. I tucked him back into bed more gently than normal. I placed an extra kiss on his check as I pulled the covers around him. Fact: my son is growing up.

The neighbor kids came up to play today. Emory had a blast with them. I mean, really enjoyed himself. They played in the yard, all the games we used to play as a child (Red rover, Hide and Seek, etc). It was refreshing to see him (and Erin) having such a good time. The only downside to this is the family is not professing Christians. I heard the little boy use God's name in vain one time. I prayed that mine would not catch on to it. I also hoped that they wouldn't notice the father smoking five cigarettes in the time they were playing. I want them to play with these kids and I would love to reach the family for Christ, but I don't want my kids learning about things or saying things they shouldn't. Or especially seeing lifestyles that they aren't accustomed to. I pray that I get wisdom about what to do. I just know we can never be too careful even though people seem to be as nice a people as you could find.

The sun is going down early and temps are lowering. It's so nice. I'm so glad for peace in my home. Thank you God for peace. He is good to us ALL.

Need to go pump a little milk for my ever growing nursling. I'm so in love with him it hurts! Babies are the most precious gifts in the world. Hands down.

Good night!

Naptime. Nudity, and a New Season

Someone should write a new horror movie entitled, "Naptime on Cooper St.". I sometimes forget what naptime (or non naptime) was like when Emory was a toddler. When I do have flashbacks, I remember being frustrated to the nth degree and it taking forever for him to go to sleep and for my frustration levels to return to normal. Now, I don't get quite so frustrated because I have a different method of parenting (never allow them to get up for no reason) and I take care of the 'issue' before I get frustrated. Still, the naptime nightmare is here most of the time. My darling hard-headed, albeit sweet, daughter loves to take her precious time to go to sleep. She is almost always the last one to drift off between the two. She can think of excuses to get up with the best of them. Punishment doesn't scare her, it's a challenge. Now, that I've typed that, I think she's finally drifted off....yay.

My son is getting interested in parts, if you kwim. He is quite an aspiring young artist and draws on his drawing board several times a day. The other night, he had drawn something on his board. I, thinking, it was fried eggs, or a belly button or something, suggested so. He replied, "No, it's two Nekases (his word for breasts) and a tallywacker". Oh my. Of course, I laughed. I could not help myself. Later, I showed Dh and he had to go out of the room to hide his laughter. When he had composed himself, he had to have a little talk with him about how we don't draw our privates. Oh my.

I smell fall in the air. I'm loving it. The temps are great today. I'll leave you with a picture I took that reminds me of fall.

Off to pick up the fussing baby...

Think this might be my last blog...

Sorry about the last blog, my son sort of took over and pressed "Publish" before I could stop him. I was on the phone, so go figure. Anyway, I didn't pass out or anything while typing like it appears! LOL

I'm pretty sure this will be my last blog under this URL. My blogs have become a more private place to share my thoughts and feelings and I don't want to offend anyone I know IRL. I feel like I need a more private place that I can just 'let it all hang out' without worrying about offending. You know how the pregnancy hormones rage, if you've ever been pregnant.

A dear friend of mine said she heard that I didn't like people calling to check on me or that I was tired of people checking on my pregnancy. I feel so badly because that's not it at all. I appreciate people calling or sending me mail or whatever. What was bothering me a few posts down was that I felt like I had to be on everyone's schedule and people had to make plans around me. Which, there is nothing wrong with either. People have to know. My own parents are putting a trip on hold bc they are trying to wait patiently, albeit I don't know how patient they are really being. :)

Anyway, I don't know where else my friend could've have found out about my frustrations, because my blog is the only place I vent. Now, she says she will try not to call back until after the baby is born, which is not what I want at all. :o( She does not read my blog, so somehow word got to her...

Anyway, I think I just need a diary, type private blog and then just keep my Bebo which is public (to my friends).

Maybe after my hormonal days are over, I can start back posting on this blog and be able to do other things besides express my frustrations and joys with being a parent, and the throes of mommyhood.

I'm really trying to be patient with this lingering pregnancy, but it's very difficult for me to not be just a teensy-weensy impatient (okay, I'm hugely impatient, short-tempered and just plain aggravated). Today I was thinking about all the reasons why I need to have this baby and the number one reason (after my worrying about the baby's overdue health status) was my emotional state of being. I wake up grouchy and just plain aggravated with everybody and everything. ff,u,u,iihk,,,jjjhh,, jhjbjjjj .

ch of plans...

Don't know why my last night's post didn't publish...anyway, I cancelled my induction again. I know I'm probably the talk of the entire hospital, but I did it. Next baby, everyone will know up front what I want to do with my pregnancy. I'm so down again.

change of plans...

Went ahead and cancelled induction! Back to phase one with my body being in charge!

Yippee! Now, just come on out already, baby!

Tomorrow is the big day...

I guess tomorrow will be the big day unless it comes before then. My FIL has taken off work, so Dh wants me to go ahead and keep my induction open. I'm to the point where I tried and no baby came, so I'm going to go ahead. I pray that I go into labor tonight, but why would tonight be any different than other nights? I'm sounding so full of faith, I know.

Anyway, I should have the baby by this time tomorrow. Stay posted.

Pictures from my b-day celebration...

Terence & Katrina..my first cousin
Me and My sister, Ashley
some of my favorite people, Laura, Katrina, and Ashley
The husbands! Lots of laughs here among them


A few of my favorite people.... I don't have a pic of my parents or my In-laws, who were there also. Of course, they are my fav people too! How do I define my favorite people? People U can let it all hang out with and just be yourself! :D I love these folks!

My birthday and other musings

Well, I hope this post will be more upbeat than yesterday's. FWIW, Erin did nap, Emory didn't, we went to see my sister and everything turned out ok. Thank goodness, moods uplift, huh?

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a good one, nothing too eventful (obviously, no baby). Dh let me sleep to almost 12 NOON, isn't that wonderful? I got up around 8am, but he allowed me to go back to sleep while he handled the kids. They brought me a present from them (a stationary set) and was sweet about that. I hung out with Dh and the kids, didn't clean much, just basic straightening. At 4pm, we met some of our dearest friends and family at the Mexican restaurant to have supper for my birthday. We had a really good time. They brought out the sombrero and sang to me. I was embarrassed, but it was fun, too. I'll upload some pics from the restaurant. I don't have one of me in the sombrero, must've slipped my mind, :). We went back to my mom's and talked and let the kids play. I didn't do much getting up off of the couch. Oh, Mom did make me a chocolate chip pound cake for my bday. It was as yummy as I remembered (she used to make it all the time while we were growing up).

As of right now, it is almost 4am and I have been awake since 1am or so. Occasional contractions, but just too uncomfortable to sleep. Erin has a bad cold. She woke up around 2 and still hasn't gone back to sleep. She's watching a movie, sitting next to me. I suspect we'll miss church tomorrow because she and I will probably be sleeping. Speaking of contractions, I have had a lot of activity (contr. the last couple of days). I'm still praying I'll go before Tuesday. I don't want to be induced, but I will probably go ahead with it. I know I'll be depressed about it later and before. Please pray that I'll go before then. Sitting here, I'm having contr. every 5-7 mins, but if I get up, they stop, or they aren't consistent for an hour.

Thanks for not being offending by my post yesterday. I know I was so hormonal! I'm worried that I will be after the baby is born. I'm glad Dh will be taking off a week. At least I hope he still is....

Love to all!

How I'm feeling....beware GROUCH post

The blogs have been few and far between, but I really haven't felt much like blogging. Today, I'm pretty ill, so those are usually good blogging days because I have something to rant and rave about.

Right now, it's naptime. ARG. I could scream. My kids sleep late. We don't get up until after 9 most days. I mean, hello, it's summer. I spend all the rest of the year getting up (them too) at 6:30. So, I don't try to put them down for a nap until 2pm or so. Listen to this...

This morning they played so well, Emory with his blocks, talking to himself in the corner. Erin, lying on her belly on the floor in the kitchen, coloring. I got my chores done (making the beds, sweeping the rooms, general straightening) and was feeling good about my accomplishments. I even swept off the sidewalk/porch while the kids played out for a bit. We came in and had some lunch. While the kids ate, I took my bath (I try to be 'up on' my baths, bc I never know when my last one might be for a while) while my leftover tomato pie heated in the oven. Well, while I ate, they were playing on my bed in the bedroom. I thought one of them would probably get hurt, but I didn't know what else was going on. Finally, after I finished my tomato pie and rested some at the table, I decided to check on them. They had every piece of cover off of all the beds and all the pillows off of, even the couch. All of this was in the middle of the floor in the kid's bedroom. I just about sobbed. It is so hard for me to do my housework now with this big 14 pound child between my legs. They had undone all my work. I went and got me a switch. I know they were just having a bit of fun, but I had already told them to not pull the covers off, that they could play with just the pillows. So, we worked at getting everything back in order.

By this time, it is 2:30-2:45 or so. I finally have them go to the bathroom and get them in bed. It is now 4:10 and neither one is asleep. Erin has got up to poop twice, got up about 5 times just to get up (striped her booty, but she is SO stubborn), including while I've been writing this, and Emory has gotten up once to poop and he is still in his bed jabbering away. I don't mind his missing a nap, but I insist he stay in bed and rest for awhile. Erin missed her nap yesterday (same scenerio exactly as today...I finally said 'forget it, get up' at 4:30) and was a basket case by last night.

I. am. so. tired.

I am tired of people asking if I'm still pregnant. I am tired of people calling before they go places to see how I'm doing before they go. Isn't that stupid of me? It's just aggravating being on everyone's schedule. I am tired of feeling tired of that because I know people are just concerned. I am so pressured to have this baby on Tuesday. I don't want to be induced. I am Natural Mama, I believe in natural birth, nature, duh. But, I feel so much pressure to have this baby. Everybody has to adjust their schedule around my having this baby. Everybody needs to know a date and a time. I am about to scream. Last night, Dh sat on the couch and told me I could cry if I want. But, you know I am past tears. I'm just so tired. I want to be pregnant in peace and just have this baby when it's ready. Well, I think my child is back up AGAIN. Okay, I'm back. I haven't even been excited about just having my baby because I feel like the world is just waiting on this baby to come so their lives can go on. Well, she fell off the bed. Hold on.

I think I've made the statement, "Noone is more ready than I for this baby to come", but I don't think that is true. There are people more ready for this baby than I am. I just want it to come when it's ready. The anxiety I'm feeling is from other's anxiety.

I am not a rude person. I don't mean to sound rude or offensive. I know everyone who makes comments are just concerned and I really appreciate it, honest. Really, what bothers me most is just the pressure I feel to have the baby now. "We need to know when it's coming" kind of thing. "You're still pregnant?" kind of thing.

I'm just having a rough day. My baby girl won't nap and I'm falling apart at the seams.

The good news is my sister and her family are down. Hope to get to see them tonight. If my kids don't nap, we won't go. That is a fact.

Keep coming back for more news, hopefully. Sorry to be so hormonal. I'm sure that's what it is.

To those I've left hanging...

Hello all! I have not had my baby, I've just haven't had much to report on my blog. I hope to liven it up again with some news before long. Basically, I cancelled my induction on Tuesday (for Wed) which I'm glad bc at my dr. appt on Wed., I was still 2 cm with my cervix thick. I don't think my labor would've progressed as well as I would like. So, here we are, Sunday night and still I'm here. My due date isn't until Wednesday, but everyone (including myself) is so ready for this baby. I think people actually feel sorry for me. :) I already have a few of the older men fr the church who volunteered this wk to drive me to the hospital. :) I'm going again Wed for my appt., and my Dh does not want me to come back home, but I probably will unless I'm a good 4 cm or so (active labor). As anxious as I am (NO one is as ready as I) to have this baby, I just believe in letting nature take over when it's time. The baby will come when ready. I guess that's the natural, crunchy side coming out of me. I did look on the internet today for some natural induction methods, but none appealed to me, really. I don't want to have diarrhea the entire I'm in labor so I don't want to try castor oil, etc. Once again, my body will not fail me when it comes to going into labor.

The only worry I have is my sister and her family are coming this weekend. I would hate for them to come and drive back home only to miss the birth by a day or so. They wouldn't get to come back for awhile. But, the Lord knows these things also.

My mom has been really good about coming once a wk and helping me here at the house. Of course, tonight (Sunday night) you can't tell it. I don't clean much on Sundays (rest day, right?) so by nightfall, it's pretty disastrous. If I did go into labor tonight, I would have to enlist someone to come straighten while I'm gone.

Emory has gone about 3 or 4 days straight with no nap. We sleep so late during the day that he just doesn't get sleepy. He is doing fine without the naps. We still don't go to bed until 9:30 or 10, but I know this will change when I go back to work.

Speaking of work, I've 'heard' that I will have the maths this year and maybe even a high school science. I really, really don't want this. I will do it, but it is not my desire at all. I'm just going to pray that I won't have to, Lord willing. I don't want a stressful year. I don't mind the maths as much, but my preference would be 3 Reading classes and 2 maths. I would love that schedule!!

Megan, sorry that I've left you hanging, hon! I have Bebo, too, that I update quite frequently, so if you have Bebo, let me know and I'll hook you up to my Bebo page! Also, I'm in the business for a good sling, let me know of a good brand. I want something stylish, yet maybe something I can find on Ebay. Send me a comment....hugs!

Will upload some photos later from the kids at the library!

38.5 week picture

Here are a couple pictures of me (one with my son) in my miserable state. :) Enjoy!

This baby WILL come!

I had my 38 wk checkup today and basically, not much has changed. I have now gained 30 lbs, I'm still 2 cm, cervix is still thick, baby is 'made' (as the dr. put it). I take it that he means I'm measuring 40 wks now. He sat me up for an induction for next Wed, but I'm more than likely going to cancel it. He told me I could, but that it was best to schedule and cancel than to decide to schedule at the last minute. He is going to Washington next weekend, too, so I guess he had that in mind. I really, really want this baby to come on its own. I would like a Pitocin-free birth, if possible.

Even though I didn't show much progress today, I feel so close. I'm so achy tonight and just feel it won't be long. If I could get my cervix thinned, I'm sure things would move along much faster. I think I might have a 9 pounder or so. Especially if I go until my due date. I read on a website yesterday that after 38 wks, the baby gains an ounce a day! Wow.

I did walk some today in the mall (got to spend some time with my dear friend, Tina) and then walked a mile tonight in the gym. I will probably be sore and achy tomorrow from walking with this big head pressing on my pelvic bone! I'm going to start taking a few bags of red raspberry tea tomorrow and see what that does.

My mood is better. After mom came and cleaned for me, it helped so much. You know I'm so weird about if my house is not cleaned and straightened, I can't function. Esp when I think, what if I go into labor and leave my house like this? The kids have played good this latter part of the week. They love to run, play, and laugh but it scares me silly that one of them is going to get hurt. It usually does happen. Yesterday, Erin would play for 45 mins at the time with the lincoln log blocks. Emory does that anyway, but I'm noticing how Erin is beginning to play for a long period of time. And here comes a newborn. LOL

I finally got up the nerve to mention my girl name to my Dh (I'm not scared of him, just scared of having to come up with another name) and he said ok! So, that is set. I guess he is set on the boy name. We haven't talked about it for months.

God is good and his blessings just floor me sometimes. I want more of him in my life. I don't deserve him, that's for sure. He's so good to me and my family.

Good night!

Just a few pics from the park...

Nothing new to report on the pregnancy front, so I thought I'd report some pix from the park the other day.

A bit of a downer post....

I felt (feel) so down today. First of all, I couldn't get going good. I wanted to get up and read my Bible and pray because I just HAVE to have God's wisdom and help everyday. I know myself. I need God to direct me as a wife and mother. I can do it on my own for a few days, but then it will hit me, BAM, I've got to have help from a higher power. I did sneak to my bedroom and read a little and pray for about 5 mins before I was discovered having left the room by my dear shadow (Erin), but I was disappointed that I didn't have that strong 'moving mountains' prayer time. Then, the kids mentioned going to the park. My immediate reaction was, absolutely not, but I did feel the Holy Spirit quicken me to spend time with my kids today. I mean, I don't know when I'll be able to take them to the park or swimming or whatever when the baby gets here. So, it took a lot to turn me away from my unkempt house and take them to the park. We had a pretty good time. I am just in no shape to really enjoy things like park trips. If I sit down, I can't get up without a scene. I can't chase after a stray child. It is murder to get in and out of vehicles. All in all, it wasn't disastrous. Emory got frustrated way more than once because the slides don't really work out for him and he can't really get into the swings by himself. I can't help him because he's 80 pounds. When we got back from the park, we went by my dear MIL who has cooked so many meals for us lately, I feel like a rotten wife/mother. I appreciate it so much, but I feel like I haven't taken care of my family in the food department. We ate lunch with her and the kids wanted to go swimming. Emory can get in there fine by himself (we stay nearby), but Erin wanted to go, so I ended up wet, on the steps, while they swam nearby. I enjoyed watching them play in the water. When Emory woke up from his nap, I was outside working in my yard which is so stoopid because I had so much to do inside. But, because I have OCD and have to follow a stupid cleaning schedule and it's Monday and my schedule says to work in the yard for 15 mins, I was out when he woke up. He was just about having a nervous breakdown when I got in the house because he couldn't find me. I felt so bad for him. When Erin woke from her nap, it was downhill from there. She is so whiney, stubborn, and got hurt so many times today for us to count (splinter in her toe, mashed fingers about 4 times in the last 2 days, cut foot, and other endless pangs..she's a drama queen). She is sooo cute and sweet, but she is going through this little stage. The other part is that I'm tooo tired and can't get up to discipline them like I should. I hate myself for this. I don't want my kids to have regressed in their behavior just because I've had a child. I'm just going to try to do better tomorrow. I just want to do better in the less hollering/ not so grouchy mood. Irritable, yikes!

Another thing is with my dear husband. I feel like he gets second best. The children get first (not by my intentions, just the way it seems to work with mothering small kids) and he gets the leftovers. He comes in from work and I give him the "it's been a tiring, rough, day and yes, I'm still pregnant" look instead of being so joyful that he's home. I don't feel like being affectionate, yet I need affection, really. We are both irritable a bit this week. You know if mama's not happy, noone is?

Lastly, is I have a dear friend who is going through the hell of her life. I feel so helpless and hopeless about how to help her. Things that are happening are not even her fault. I just wish for everything to be back normal for her. I get so mad at the devil and have a renewed hatred for him tonight. He is so out to destroy God's people. God help us all.

Sorry to be such a downer post. This is my blog and my thoughts. Sometimes cheerful, sometimes not. I prayed today that God will just 'restore unto me the joy of my salvation'. I need it badly. I need to be a 100% mama and 100% wife. Nothing else is beneficial to my family. Thanks for reading. Pray for me. God is still good.

God Bless!

Just wanted to add a 37 week photo. Not much difference, but I decided to keep the photos going. That and indigestion. ICK.

What a week!

What a week this has been! Monday night, I started having contractions that were pretty intense coming regularly every 5 minutes. They were lasting about 15-20 seconds or so. They were accompanied by cramping and back discomfort. I finally woke up DH around 2:00 and before I knew it, he was up and dressed. I didn't really feel the need to go to the hospital yet, but that didn't matter to him, lol. Basically, we got checked (2cm) 4 different times (UGH) and I got my contractions monitored. They finally spaced out to 10 mins and then quit. I've been doing fine since then, pregnancy wise. This baby is wanting to bake some more. I'm feeling really uncomfortable tonight and have had some intense contractions. Nothing regular, tho.

We had a good fourth spent with our family. I'm posting some pictures from the fourth of my kids at my mom's and dad's.

Thursday night, I had severe pain in my bad tooth. I mean s-e-v-e-r-e. We got an appointment Friday and I got the tooth cleaned out, medicated, etc. I have never been in so much pain. If you have never had tooth/jaw pain, you haven't felt pain as severe as you could feel. I'm better today--on antibiotics and pain meds. I haven't had to even take pain meds today. Weird what a difference a day (and prayer) makes!!

Type more later....

Not too much to update

I don't have a lot to update, but basically my cervix is soft and 'ripe'. LOL Sounds nice! My dr. said that since this is my 3rd baby, I don't have to be dialated or thinned to go from 0-10 very fast. He said I would have a fast labor, which freaks me out.

I have felt awful today. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I slept all the way to my appt (almost 2 hrs away) and all the way back, so that tells me I didn't get as much sleep as I thought I had. The recliner isn't even sufficing me now. My back/side hurt a lot today and I've felt bloated. I have a slight sinus thing going on too. I just felt bad.

I was up 4 lbs. My total wt gain is 27 pounds. My bp was 110/68 which is always good. I have to go back next Friday. I can't help but thinking that might be the 13th. Hmmm.. Friday the 13th may bring good news?

Back to shelling my butterbeans. Harvest time is in full swing. Sure are enjoying the watermelons, though. YUM!

36 week picture

Taken tonight...this shirt really camoflauges my huge belly! Tomorrow is my dr appt...can't wait to see what the dr. says! A few extras of Erin (hiding and building a house)..her two favorite things to do.