Bad experiences and good results

Well, my baby is 8 weeks old today. As I sit here, typing one-handed, holding his spoiled self, I can't imagine life being any sweeter. He is now 15 pounds and has a 6 month outfit on now. He loves being held, being outside, mama's milk, mama, in general, and baths. He hates carseats, changing clothes, and being put down. He still screams and cries bloody murder while in his carseat about 9 trips out of 10. He won't lay down and 'play' for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. Things are better though. He no longer has colic at nighttime. He is sleeping until 5:30 and sometimes after 7! Praise God for that! He has been cooing for about 2 weeks now. His behaviors are very predictable and I'm enjoying that. That will change before too long! LOL



A couple of nights ago, I was thinking about my hospital experience and it really depressed me. I mean seriously. I was crying and downright angry at my birth experience. I've not blogged about it, but between the delivery nurse getting up in my face telling me to calm down that I was upsetting everyone on the floor to my meals never being right, it was horrible. The anthesthesiologist (I know I won't spell that right) arriving after 8, when I asked for an epidural at 6:30, my excruciating pain that caused my husband to break down crying in the waiting room (after I told him to 'please kill me'), the cafeteria ladies leaving the tray of food across the room, expecting me and my 12 inch gash up my butt to walk over and get it, the wayyy less than friendly OB who put me into a panic by saying, We have GOT to get this baby out now, the awful vein that blew when the blood pressure cuff came on, the same said nurse who forgot to empty my bladder until a nurse, thankfully, asked me if she had (about an hour after birth) and I said No (she got out a deep tupperware-type bowl full), having to be 'checked' 80 times by various people, having no one except my husband to sympathize with my excruciating pain, but most of all I will never forget the pain. The pain that comes with going from having natural contractions to water-breaking and Pitocin jacked up contractions. I will never forget it. And, having people coming in and out of the room while you are dying and they are doing nothing about it. Me saying I can't breathe (and I couldn't..hello, I had asthma written on my papers) and having them ignore me. Well, it was horrible. The only 2 good things that came from the hospital were that my son's circumcision went well and they didn't give us a lot of junk about not vaxing him. That was nice. Anyway...I had more typed but lost most of it. He is awake...More later.

I Love my kids!

For once, I'm not speaking about MY kids. I'm talking about my students. Today, at chapel, when I saw my students edging closer to me for prayer, I realized just how much I love these kids. I was instantly convicted that I don't pray for my students everyday. I'm going to make an effort to pray for them both collectively and individually. Speaking of chapel, we have it every other Wednesday at my school. It is usually wonderful and today was no exception. We had the black-light puppets, a game, a memory verse, songs, and a message. By the end, the kids are going to the 'altar' in droves. It is wonderful. The tears are flowing and they are so sincere. I pray they find what they need while their hearts are young and tender. The world is so cold and dark. Peer pressure looms ahead. Reality says that most of them will become parents too early, involved in drugs, and/or being in a divorce. I do love them all and really care for them.

On a lighter note, we do have a lot of fun in the classroom. I have this one student who is always blaming his neighbor for 'cutting the cheese', farting, or being gassy. He is so funny. I'm enjoying teaching them and have a lot of fun as well. I talk through their math problems being silly. They come up to my desk and explain the math problem to me using the same silly techniques I do. One mom told me that she was going over rounding numbers with her little girl. She said the little girl was saying, "Okay, I have to go over to my neighbor, knock on the door, and say, Neighbor, are you five or greater?" LOL That is exactly the way I taught it to them on the board. Today, I taught them subtraction w/borrowing by us 'loaning chickens to our neighbors next door' or 'giving away a child to the neighbor'. (You know borrowing and putting a one in the place value, etc.) A little girl came up to my desk and was saying to herself, "Okay, I have to give this neighbor one" LOL. I love my job.

Then, I come home and my babies at home keep so much joy in my life. Last night, Bradley was all into talking spiritually to Emory about God having a plan for his life, he has special talents God gave him, etc. etc. I mean he was really into it and Emory had been listening for 5 minutes. All of the sudden Emory said, "Well, I like PBS Kids and that's a gift". LOL I thought I would die. And just today, Bradley threw a ball at Emory (just playing) and it landed in his cereal. Emory took it personally and was quite upset that the cereal was everywhere. Bradley apologized and Erin piped up (from the kitchen) and said, "Daddy, you know Jesus saw you do that". LOL

My students won't be so cute to me tomorrow if I don't get into bed. It's almost 12. What am I thinking?!?

Present Disgust and Past Reflections

For the past few days I've been reflecting upon a few years ago. Regarding me. One of my favorite memories of my life is my honeymoon. The first time to be alone with the one you love. Not just alone, but away and alone. What an awesome time we had! Now, overnight, we have 3 precious kids who have changed our lives forever. Then, I've been reflecting on my first home. We were only in our trailer for about a year before we moved. I barely remember the trailer. I try hard to think of things about it and it is very foggy. I worked so much during that time that I wasn't home too much. I was also quite moody during that time (BC pills). I have remembrances of crying several instances for no reason. I was a real whiny hole. Honest. So I've matured. That sorta comes with the kids thing. The main reflection I have is that I was skinny. I've been really thinking about how nice of a sleek, skinny, flabless figure I had back then. I'm really disgusted with my looks in general, which includes the wardrobe as well. The scales have not budged an ounce in a month now. I'm getting very impatient. I've heard it takes longer with each child, but my word, I should have at least lost 2 pounds in a month! I must have a lot of fat stores for my little nursling! Anyway, I'm dying to get down to 130. That is my ultimate goal. That's 4 pounds from my honeymoon weight. I'll take 140 by Christmas. I have about 9 pounds to lose. Surely, it can be done! My wardrobe has MUCH to be desired. I would love about $200 to spend on a new wardrobe. I could do it with $200. My clothes aren't even me. My clothes that I wear, I don't even like. I don't want to sound all discontent here. I'm really not. I wear the clothes, I'm happy in them, and I don't complain while I wear them. In fact, I'm not ready for a new wardrobe until I get the weight that I want to be. I refuse to be a drab mother of 3. I want to be as hip as I can be (being Pentecostal and all..lol) without looking like a teenager look alike. I want to still shop at Victoria's Secret and Buckle and Old Navy, etc. Anyway, just some reflections on my present disgust. I don't like what I see in the mirror. I know I'm being so vain, Lord forgive me. I'm being honest, but it's still vain. I do have beautiful, no, gorgeous children. They are my life. God is good. What a meaningless post. I apologize to all. This post would fit under one of those "Dear Diary" post.

I do want to say I'm thankful to still have my mom with me. She had a wreck on Saturday that could have been bad. She is unharmed and I'm so thankful. God is good, again.

Compliments, Changes, and Challenges

The other day I saw a lady that I am acquainted with, but not close friends with (I hate ending sentences with prepostions). This lady is always so put together. She is not beautiful, per se, but she is always dressed so neatly, her toes and fingernails are always done, her hair is always shining and looks freshly combed. Get what I mean? She is really sweet, too, so that becomes her looks. For some reason, I just wanted to compliment her, but I felt strange about doing so. Do you ever do that? Then, on my drive home, I was thinking. If someone wanted to compliment me, I would love for them to not refrain from doing so! What does a compliment do to a woman? Boost her self esteem, makes her feel wonderful about herself, etc. What is it about us women that keeps us from complimenting each other? Is it pride or is it just because we might feel weird? I think it can be both. In this case, I didn't know the lady very well, so I didn't compliment her because I felt weird about doing so (she doesn't know me very well, she might think I'm gay or something..lol). There has been times I haven't complimented close friends or family because of pride. I guess I didn't want to give them the satisfaction that they looked good or something. Does that make sense? I'm awfully ashamed to admit that. The bottom line is, I hope I do better at complimenting. When I feel like complimenting, I'm going to really try to do so. I wish someone would compliment me if they feel like it. I promise I wouldn't think they were gay! LOL

We are doing some changes to our house tomorrow--putting on a new roof. I'm excited about the final project, but I'm not excited about having 20 men (who are NOT my husband or Matt Damon, lol) being on my roof hammering all day long. I am grateful, though, for the generous help of the men from our church. Praise the Lord for friends!

My class is a challenge this year. I have whiners, slow learners, tattle-tales, and 'teachers'. It is going to be quite a ride this year. I'm sure I'll grow to love them all, but I'm going to need special prayer to handle it the way that would be pleasing to the Lord. I don't dare want to offend one of the little ones as the scripture says.

Have a great weekend! Comments welcomed!

More Goat Milk, Please?

Once or twice a week, I don't have enough milk to give to my mom to feed Evan. I'm in a hurry to pump or just low supply, I guess, and don't get but 2 or 3 oz per pumping session. He is drinking about 4 ounces now to be satisfied. My mom is giving him raw goat milk to supplement him. Today she had to give him an entire bottle of goat milk because he wanted to eat right before it was time for me to arrive. She said he was so calm afterward and even went to sleep on his own (that's a first or second)! Goat milk is an excellent (and better) alternative to formula. It has fewer proteins so our tummies don't have to work as hard to break them down. I know regular milk makes me feel gassy, but goat milk with my cereal digests just fine! Anyway, it sounds like I have an answer to my what-if-I-run-out-of-milk-but-don't-want-to-use-formula problem.

A prayer was answered for a dear friend of mine recently. I'm rejoicing in God's goodness tonight. His ways are not our ways! God is great! All I'm gonna post tonight...Dh is doing the rocking so I can blog. Evan is fussing with him. Wanted to add a pic but it will take too long. Try to upload it tomorrow. Goodnight....

Nolstagia and Neighbors

Last night husband and I got out the old video camera and looked at some footage of Emory from when he was about 1.5 yrs old. I had not viewed this tape in a couple of years, so it was very sentimental to look at it. He was so little, could barely talk and was saying, "Cheese" the whole time at the camera. We have footage of him saying the Blessing that is precious. I held back my emotions, but it was hard. I can't believe he is four years old now. I am so pleased with how he has turned out. Even though he is just four, his 'makeup' for the rest of his life has already been established. He already has his outlook on life. Scary, huh? I pray every day and every time I pray that God gives me wisdom to teach my children, love them unconditionally, and to be ever so patient with them. I don't ever want to offend one of His little ones. I do want to discipline him when he needs it, but heap love on him while administering the discipline. Anyway, after watching the video, I wanted to go to his room and love on him a little bit. I refrained, but this morning at 3 am when he came in our room and wanted water, I was ever so glad to get it for him. I tucked him back into bed more gently than normal. I placed an extra kiss on his check as I pulled the covers around him. Fact: my son is growing up.

The neighbor kids came up to play today. Emory had a blast with them. I mean, really enjoyed himself. They played in the yard, all the games we used to play as a child (Red rover, Hide and Seek, etc). It was refreshing to see him (and Erin) having such a good time. The only downside to this is the family is not professing Christians. I heard the little boy use God's name in vain one time. I prayed that mine would not catch on to it. I also hoped that they wouldn't notice the father smoking five cigarettes in the time they were playing. I want them to play with these kids and I would love to reach the family for Christ, but I don't want my kids learning about things or saying things they shouldn't. Or especially seeing lifestyles that they aren't accustomed to. I pray that I get wisdom about what to do. I just know we can never be too careful even though people seem to be as nice a people as you could find.

The sun is going down early and temps are lowering. It's so nice. I'm so glad for peace in my home. Thank you God for peace. He is good to us ALL.

Need to go pump a little milk for my ever growing nursling. I'm so in love with him it hurts! Babies are the most precious gifts in the world. Hands down.

Good night!

Naptime. Nudity, and a New Season

Someone should write a new horror movie entitled, "Naptime on Cooper St.". I sometimes forget what naptime (or non naptime) was like when Emory was a toddler. When I do have flashbacks, I remember being frustrated to the nth degree and it taking forever for him to go to sleep and for my frustration levels to return to normal. Now, I don't get quite so frustrated because I have a different method of parenting (never allow them to get up for no reason) and I take care of the 'issue' before I get frustrated. Still, the naptime nightmare is here most of the time. My darling hard-headed, albeit sweet, daughter loves to take her precious time to go to sleep. She is almost always the last one to drift off between the two. She can think of excuses to get up with the best of them. Punishment doesn't scare her, it's a challenge. Now, that I've typed that, I think she's finally drifted off....yay.

My son is getting interested in parts, if you kwim. He is quite an aspiring young artist and draws on his drawing board several times a day. The other night, he had drawn something on his board. I, thinking, it was fried eggs, or a belly button or something, suggested so. He replied, "No, it's two Nekases (his word for breasts) and a tallywacker". Oh my. Of course, I laughed. I could not help myself. Later, I showed Dh and he had to go out of the room to hide his laughter. When he had composed himself, he had to have a little talk with him about how we don't draw our privates. Oh my.

I smell fall in the air. I'm loving it. The temps are great today. I'll leave you with a picture I took that reminds me of fall.

Off to pick up the fussing baby...