Dh has a new laptop which can be both a blessing and a curse. I love being able to keep contact with the outside world, but on the negative side, I miss reading at night and I can't sleep well after being on the internet late. My mind just goes ninety miles per hour and I resort to counting sheep, saying a mantra, or repeating a Bible verse. But, the next night, I'm back online. I'm intrigued with unassisted childbirth (UC) and I have been eating up all the information I can night after night. If my husband would consent, I would never go back to the doctor or hospital. A good site with some nice blogs is www.christianuc.com/unassisted-pregnancy/journals. I wish I could convince him that our bodies are made to birth babies. It is a natural process. It is a joke all of the procedures we have to go through (routine or otherwise) just to have a baby. I think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, what an awesome birth she must have had. She had no bright lights, doctors sticking their hands up the ying-yang, nurses pressing on the uterus to expel her placenta, etc. Just the quiet lowing of the donkey, the smell of hay, and the chirping of crickets. She was at peace with the nature of her body to deliver the Son of God. I feel so strongly about having a UC, but I understand my Dh's concern for my well being. I try to get him to read things on the internet, but he thinks I'm crazy. *wink* I know I will be obedient to him, albeit disappointed if I don't get the birth I crave.
I am currently 31+ weeks with this surprise. I really feel like it's another girl. I don't know why. I just see Emory as being the only son in our family. We have a boy named chosen, but I don't see us using it. We haven't a girl name chosen and I'm not at peace with a name. I want this girl to have Rebekah in her name somewhere. I would love to just name her that, but I want to have an "E" name to keep the balance. I have been thinking about Ella, Elaina, or Eden, but am not crazy about any of those. Names aside, I have an active one. Seems to have slowed down in the past couple of days, but she's still in there, no doubt. I don't feel like I'm getting any bigger which is a relief. I think I've gained about 20 pounds so far, but I'm not trying to figure it out to a 't'. Not much swelling with this gal, which is also good. My feet hurt, but I stay busy on my feet most of the day.
Speaking of staying busy, I have settled into a cleaning routine that I hope to keep up this summer. I've managed to keep the house orderly and the clothes washed. That is the biggie. Laundry. I finally broke down and made my own laundry soap and I promise, I could eat that stuff. I have a thing for soap. I wonder what you call people with a soap fetish? I remember sitting in the bathtub as a child sniffing the Safeguard bar of soap (what we always used). My laundry recipe uses pure Ivory soap and I could just eat that stuff. I mean, everytime I grate a bar to go in my concoction, I'm in heaven. Anyway, my recipe is: 3.5 cups of Borax, 2.5 cups of grated pure soap (Ivory or Dr. Bronners, etc), and I added a cup of Baking Soda. Put in a container and shake really good. Add 1/2 cup to a load. Cheap. Fun. and Yummy. Back to the cleaning, I have been trying to slowly work on getting our back part of the house liveable. We don't 'live' in that part, per se, so it is easy to let that part go. I'm trying to work on it for a few minutes a day. Cooking has not been a part of my routine lately. I'm so bummed out about not cooking. I think it's a pregnancy thing. I always feel full and don't want to cook if I'm not hungry. Also, I have desires for certain foods and it's not what I have in my cupboards. I guess I feel like my family feels the same way as I. I appreciate their patience. Dh is wonderful about being understanding. I love my breakfast foods and am always happy to whip up a batch of pancakes. There's another fetish. LOL We probably have pancakes every other day. Fresh with maple syrup!
My best friend who has been going through an awfully rough ordeal lately, is getting to bring her girl twin baby home from the hospital tomorrow, Lord willing. She and her brother have been in there since late March. God has been so good to those babies and is continuing to be so. I'm so proud of the strong mommy my friend is. I'm so excited about the baby getting to come home. I feel like the other baby will probably come home about the time my baby is born. He still has a couple of more surgeries to undergo.
This blog is so long, but I have so much on my mind. It's nice to have school out for a change. I love my job and it is not a drudgery, but I feel like I'm fulfilling God's plan being at home with my babies. It's a busy job where you don't even look at the time, but it's rewarding. Erin is pretty much potty-trained, with a couple of whoopsies every few days. She doesn't even have on a diaper tonight, so she may want to night-train soon as well. Fine by me. She hates putting on a pull-up. She is such a big girl and I am absolutely floored at her vocabulary and ability to conversate. Even though she is mine, I have never seen a child her age (26 mos) with a conversational ability like she has. Her new thing is she has to 'make sugars' for everybody. I'll say, 'Give me some sugars, Erin' and she will say '___________' ate it all up. I'll have to make you some more." So, she proceeds to make sugars by sticking her finger in her mouth and rubbing it on her lips. Sooo cute. Tonight she told her daddy that mama had got all of her hugs and she had to make some more. She started rubbing her shoulders, making more hugs. Oh my, is she cute! Emory is getting so tanned by going swimming everyday. He is a good boy and minds really well. He still complains a lot, but I think we'll have that beat by the time summer is over. Working on Erin's whining too, this summer.
Well, enough is enough. God is blessing Dh's job and helping us financially. We are slowly getting out of debt and praise be to God. Looks like I might be a SAHM within a year, Lord willing. God is good. Never doubt it.
